The Adventure of ATM and the UPS Guy
by kaykyaka
Summary: Makeup turns a woman's face permanently red and an iPod causes a man to lose his hearing, is there a connection? ATM are on the case! Final chapter up.
1. Mamacita!

Title: The Adventures of ATM and the UPS Guy

Author: Kaykyaka

Disclaimer: I do not own any of the characters used within this fictional story. No copyright infringement is intended and no money is being made by this work of fiction.  
Ratings: K+

Characters: Lita, Trish Stratus (not married in this story), Melina, DX, Edge, Nitro, Carlito, Shelton Benjamin, Randy Orton.

Summary: A woman's face is turned permanently red by make-up,

an iPod makes a man lose his hearing and ATM is on the case!

_Author's Note: Not all heroes wear capes or shoot stuff out of their wrists._

One - Mamacita!

The Rivercenter Mall, San Antonio, TX:

_Only you are holy, only you are wonderful _Shawn Michaels sang to himself as he wondered merrily through the Rivercenter Mall on one of his rare weekends home. His wife's birthday was coming up and he had vowed to make up for his lack of phone calls home while he was in Connecticut with Hunter by buying her the most gorgeous piece of jewelry her eyes had ever seen. As Donnie McClurkin sang beautifully through his iPod that he "borrowed" from his son he walked back to where he had seen the necklace that caused him to stop and stare. Oro de Monte Albán was a Mexican jewelry store that specialized in the kind of jewelry that would pop around his wife's neck. He entered the store and pressed what he thought was the pause button when he ended up turning it up and almost deafening himself and the people around him.

"Sorry, I'm sorry guys," he apologized fumbling with the iPod, "I don't know how to use these things," He finally found the pause button but not before the shop assistant and manager started to laugh at him as he dropped the gadget on his foot.

"Ow!" he cried, "Stupid open toe sandals!" he cursed.

"Always the comedian HBK," said Juarez the manager walking over to the Showstoppa and patting him on the shoulder in a friendly manner.

"It's not on purpose believe me," Shawn said and Juarez continued to laugh escorting Shawn over to the counter. Shop assistant Maria greeted him with a warm smile much more genuine than the smiles from the other shop assistants in the mall.

"How you doing Maria?" Shawn said shyly and she shrugged.

"I gotta a lotta homework to do so no pay-per-view this Sunday," she said gloomily.

"Oh no!" her father said coming over to her, "Don't give him that look,"

"What look?" she said innocently pretending not to know she was pouting at HBK who grinned in spite of himself.

"You know what that look means HBK?" Juarez said and HBK nodded.

"I sure do," HBK replied.

"It means "tell my Papi to let me watch wrestling HBK" right Heartbreak?" Juarez teased and Shawn laughed.

"Yep that's what it means," he said.

"He's a father too Maria he knows all the tricks and he's learned to rise above manipulation, it's all we can do to survive as parents now, are you going to give Shawn what he came for or are you going to stand there looking all doe-eyed all day?" Juarez said and Maria reluctantly turned to get the tray with the fully restored Chimallis necklace on top of it. Shawn nodded his approval as Maria placed the tray down in front of him.

"You gonna get lucky when you give her this man," Juarez said implicitly.

"I already am lucky," Shawn replied, "all this means is I get time off from cleaning the garage," Juarez laughed and Shawn's cell phone rang.

"You gonna answer that man?" Juarez asked as the phone continued to ring unanswered. Shawn rolled his eyes he knew who it was and he really didn't wanna hear it.

"I love your ringtone HBK," Maria said rocking along to the tune of "Our God is an Awesome God" while preparing the box for the necklace.

"Yeah shame about the person that's ringing," Shawn answered cynically as he phone continued to ring, then it finally stopped and Shawn breathed a sigh of relief. Then it rang again and Shawn pulled his visor right down over his face.

"Man, I know it ain't cool to swear but this mutha-"

"HBK no!" Juarez and Maria said at the same time and Shawn bit his tongue.

"This incredibly irritating guy is totally tripping," Shawn finally answered the phone.

"WHAT!" he yelled.

"I'm telling you man she wants you!" Hunter said and Shawn hung up angrily and Juarez and Maria chuckled at his change in mood.

"What's up HBK?" asked Maria.

"Yeah you're usually so cool, now it looks like you could wipe out a village or two," Juarez said.

"Or three," came a voice from the door and they all turned to see a pretty looking red-head at the door.

"Lita," Shawn said his voice disappearing into a whisper.

"Lita!" Maria gasped enamored at the sight of the WWE Diva.

"Mamacita!" Juarez said adoring the vision of beauty standing in his doorway.

"_Hunter,_" Shawn said under his breath.

"I hope you don't mind me coming over to see you Shawn," Lita said coming over to him, "Hey," she said waving to Juarez and Maria but they blushed and Maria tucked away the necklace and they both busied themselves out of respect to the two individuals in the shop.

"Can I talk to you outside for a second?" Shawn said to Lita motioning the red-head to the door.

"Hey we weren't listening?" Juarez said as they left.

"What's up Shawn?" Lita asked noticing that HBK looked a little more agitated then usual plus he was looking around to see if anyone was watching.

"Lita people know me around here I don't want to stir up any controversy," he said seriously.

"What are you saying you don't wanna talk to me in public?" Lita asked folding her arms across her chest.

"Hunter called me, he told me what you said," Shawn explained.

"What that I got your letter and I think we should try being friends like back in the day?" Lita said and Shawn frowned in confusion.

"Is that what you said?" HBK asked.

"Yeah but I guess all that stuff about not caring what people thought was just bull right, since you don't wanna be seen in public with me, the controversial Man-eater Lita. I am a person you know I have feelings, who do you think you are?" Lita snapped offended her voice rising.

"No Lita I know that I'm sorry I'm not ashamed to be seen with you in public, I just, no forget it I'm sorry really. Forgive me?" Shawn pleaded sincerely holding onto her arms.

Lita nodded reluctantly, "I'm anointed I have to," she said walking away.

"Where you going?" he called after her but she just kept on walking.

"Wait wait!" he called after her and when she didn't turn around he ran after her, unfortunately his iPod slipped out of his pocket and he got tangled up in the earphone wire and went flying across the floor knocking the Diva down.

"Lita I'm so sorry!" Shawn apologized helping the Diva to her feet.

"Hey Shawn I'm in the same business as you I can take a bump or two, relax," she said nonchalantly.

"Lita I meant every word I said in that letter," Shawn said sincerely.

"Then why you been avoiding me in the locker room, why don't you come out with us anymore?" Lita asked, "And I'm speaking on behalf of my friends not just myself although I'm sure I've got a lot to do with it,"

Shawn looked at his open-toe sandals bashfully then looked up in the air before bringing his eyes down to meet Lita's.

"Hunter told me what happened at Stephanie's when I was possessed, when you . . . you know, took advantage of me. It kinda changed the way I feel about you and not for the better," Shawn said honestly.

"Took advantage? Shawn I was trying to save you!" Lita said insulted.

"And get your groove on at the same time," Shawn replied sarcastically.

"Shawn that's not who I am anymore but you treating me like the whore of Babylon isn't helping," Lita said and held out her hand which Shawn looked at like it was a tentacle, "I want you to stick by your letter," she said sternly, "I want us to be friends,"

Shawn looked long and hard at her hand then back up at her and shook his head.

"I'm sorry Lita but you're a beautiful woman and I'm a married man and the two just don't mix," Shawn said nonplused.

"What you just gonna leave me hanging dog?" Lita said in hip-hop slang and Shawn just burst out laughing.

"Okay maybe we could set a new trend," Shawn said not wanting to leave her hanging and he shook her hand firmly, "Do you think you could leave the rubbing up and down on me for your boyfriend from now on?"

Lita shook her head in amazement, "You know Shawn most guys would be dying for me to rub up on them," she said impressed at his self-respect, "I hear a phone," she said suddenly.

"Speaking of most guys . . ." he said rolling his eyes at the sound.

"You gonna answer that?" Lita said as Shawn's phone continued to ring.

"No, that's one person that I don't mind leaving hanging," HBK replied and Lita smiled knowing it was Hunter.

"You know he added his own personal addendum to your letter," she said.

"I'm a add my own personal boot to his chin if he don't stop calling my phone, come on Lita show me how to put this thing on silent," Shawn said showing her his cell-phone.

"Okay – Hunter? Oops!" she said answering the phone by accident and Shawn rolled his eyes, "Yeah this is Lita. He's right here, what are we doing? Well nothing right now, he was just asking me how to put his cell-phone on silent so we don't get anymore interruptions," she said suggestively and Shawn put his hand over his face in embarrassment, "What am I wearing?"

"Give me that!" Shawn said snatching the phone from Lita, "Hunter I know what you did and I'm pissed at you seriously pissed!"

"Dude she followed you to the mall what more clues do you need?" Hunter pleaded on the other end of the phone while feeding his little girl.

"Get a life," Shawn said.

"Can I borrow yours for 15 minutes?" Hunter replied.

"15 minutes? Even Jericho could hit it longer than you," Shawn quipped and hung up on Hunter who flew into a rage at the Showstoppa's last words.

"15 minutes?" Lita said and Shawn nodded ashamed of his best friend and Lita suddenly felt very lucky she had Edge who could go for at least 20.

"Hey Lita check this out, "Man sues Apple for faulty iPod turning him deaf," " Shawn said bringing Lita's attention to the article in the San Antonio Express as they walked back to the jewelers. Lita peered over for a closer look and smelt HBK's cologne. _Beautiful _she thought to herself amorously then she got a pounding headache.

"I know I won't I promise!" she said to God who reminded her of their new covenant with a little migraine.

"Who are you talking to?" said Shawn looking up in the sky to see if anyone was up there.

"Look at this," Lita said changing the subject, "Cosmetics turn woman's skin permanently red," "

"That's why my wife doesn't wear make-up, or at least I tell her not to, God made her perfect the way she is," HBK said fondly and Lita cocked her eyebrow.

"Is that why you're always in the make-up chair before me every Monday night?" Lita asked sarcastically and HBK shrugged.

"Well it's TV Double D," he replied and Lita knocked him on the arm.

"You know Shawn there's something a little off with these two stories," she said looking back at the newspaper.

"You thinking trouble?" Shawn asked.

"Not yet Shawnie, not yet," Lita answered studying the articles closely. Shawn cocked his eyebrow as she looked up to the sky again, "Okay now I am," she said, "I gotta go, see you tomorrow night," Lita said running towards the escalator.

"Should I throw away my son's iPod?" Shawn called after her and she ran back towards him.

"No, just throw away your attitude towards me," she said and ran away again. Shawn smiled crookedly as she leapt down the escalator zipping through the people like a video game character. He walked back to Oro de Monte Albán where Juarez and Maria were pretending not to be talking about him.

"I see my gift is ready," Shawn said noticing the aqua box with the white ribbon nicely tied around it.

"Yeah Tiffany's got nuthin' on us," Maria said arrogantly.

"Yeah just loads of stores in every state and more diamonds than God," Juarez commented sarcastically.

"Dad it's not the quantity it's the quality," Maria said confidently, "And to God we are diamonds,"

"Amen Maria," Shawn said, "Thank you so much guys I really appreciate you doing this for me,"

"We'll deliver it next week," Juarez said.

"Great did you inscribe it?" Shawn asked Maria and she nodded, "Maybe you should let her watch wrestling tonight," he said to Juarez and Maria jumped for joy while her Father shook his head vehemently and Shawn waved goodbye to the best store he ever walked past on his first weekend away from RAW in months.


	2. See No Evil, Hear No Evil

Title: The Adventures of ATM and the UPS Guy

Author: Kaykyaka

Disclaimer: I do not own any of the characters used within this fictional story. No copyright infringement is intended and no money is being made by this work of fiction.  
Ratings: K+

Characters: Lita, Trish Stratus (not married in this story), Melina, DX, Edge, Nitro, Carlito, Shelton Benjamin, Randy Orton.

Summary: A woman's face is turned permanently red by make-up, an iPod makes a man lose his hearing and ATM is on the case!

Two - See No Evil, Hear No Evil

Lita and Melina were walking down 9th Avenue Downtown San Antonio looking for Angela Perez's apartment. Lita looked her name up in the phone book and found her eventually after dialing several wrong numbers. When she got through she told her about the article and said she could help her so Angela invited her down.

"She's got the same last name as me, I feel it is not only my Divine obligation but my ancestral obligation to give her back what God gave her in the first place," Melina said pulling her cap down even further so that the people walking past wouldn't recognize her. She even went as far to wear sweat pants like Lita who had her hood up. This wasn't a choice as it was boiling outside but both their legs were so recognizable they knew they didn't have a choice. They reached apartment 3 and rang the bell.

"¿Quién es él/Who is it?" asked a Spanish voice.

"Es Amy/its Amy," Lita replied. The door opened after a loud buzz and Lita and Melina entered the building. It was painted red for the most part with plants sat decoratively at the entrance of every floor. When they reached the 3rd floor they saw a door open and figured she didn't wanna come to the door. Lita and Melina looked at each other and shrugged.

"A permanently red face will give you the lowest self-esteem," Melina said compassionately and they entered the apartment which had a red carpet and the curtains weren't drawn so there wasn't a lot of light coming in. They turned into what they realized was the kitchen and saw a woman with her back to them hunched over. Lita's eyes softened the woman was scared, she knew why so she approached her gently.

"Angela?" she asked softly.

"Sí/Yes," Angela answered weakly and Lita reached out and touched her.

"Estamos aquí ayudarle/ We're here to help you," she said but Angela flinched at Lita's touch.

"¡Nadie pueden ayudarme/No one can help me!" she yelled her voice choked with tears and Melina smiled.

"Puedo ayudarle/I can help you" she said and Angela looked up at the sound of her voice, there was something soothing about it that she just couldn't put her finger on and she turned and looked at Melina.

"¿Quiénes son usted/Who are you?" she asked her reddened face hidden in the shadows of the darkness. Lita drew back the curtains letting in the light and Angela cowered under her sleeve.

"¡No me mire, yo son horrible/Don't look at me, I'm hideous!" she protested and Melina came over to her and took her hand gently removing it from her sleeve.

"Angela I quisiera que usted me mirara/Angela I want you to look at me," Melina said and Angela slowly put her arm down inspired by Melina to look up and see the face that went with the voice.

"¿Quiénes son usted/Who are you?" she asked again peering into Melina's eyes.

"Era Melina nato Perez pero he sido reborn como Melina el milagroso para curar a los niños del dios en el nombre de Jesús Cristo y yo está aquí curarle mi hermana/I was born Melina Perez but I have been reborn as Melina the Miraculous to heal God's children in the name of Jesus Christ and I am here to heal you my sister," Melina said.

"¿Usted va a curar mi cara/You are going to heal my face?" Angela asked and Melina rose to her feet.

"Tengo ya/I already have," she said and Angela felt a warm sensation over her skin and she touched her face. It was no longer rough and sore and she felt it over and over again to make sure she wasn't going insane. It wasn't a dream her reflection proved it.

"¡Mi cara/My face!" she cried from the bathroom. Moments later she ran back out and hugged Melina lifting the Diva off her feet.

"¡Usted curó mi cara, usted es trabajador del milagro/You healed my face you are a miracle worker!" she cried jumping up and down forcing Melina to jump up and down with her and Lita watched with a smile, "No he estado fuera de mi casa en tres semanas, desde que ese individuo de la UPS vino entregar mi maquillaje. ¡Déjeme decirle algo que es la vez última que siempre consigo a cualquier cosa entrega especial enviada.¡Aquí tome esta caja que no la deseo en mi casa/I haven't been outside of my house in three weeks, ever since that UPS guy came and delivered my make-up. Let me tell you something that's the last time I ever get anything sent special delivery! Here take this box I don't want it in my house!" Angela said although she more relived than angry.

"¿cUps que usted dice/UPS you say?" Lita asked looking at the box her eye catching some strange writing on the side of it.

"Sí/Yes," Angela replied and hugged her too, "¿Oh le Bendigo para traerme a este curador, cómo puedo compensarle siempre/Oh bless you for bringing this healer to me, how can I ever repay you?" Angela asked ecstatically and Lita touched her hand gently.

"Dando su corazón a Cristo y sabiendo que él le ama no importa cómo usted mira/By giving your heart to Christ and knowing that He loves you no matter how you look," Lita replied and Angela closed her eyes as if receiving a message telepathically. She opened her eyes and looked at Lita reverently.

"Le untan/You are Anointed," she said.

"Sí /Yes," Lita replied.

"Y usted tiene pelo rojo llameante/And you have flaming red hair," Angela continued pulling down Lita's hood so that her hair was revealed, "Tenía un sueño que usted vendría y ahora usted tiene/ I had a dream that you would come and now you have,"

"Al Dios sea la Gloria/To God be the glory," Lita said and kissed Angela's hand, "El Dios le bendice Angela Perez/God bless you Angela Perez,"

Angela smiled warmly at Lita and blew both her and Melina a kiss as they left the apartment that was now filled with light and the smile of a beautiful middle aged woman that stretched from ear to ear.

"¿Por qué me toman siempre/Why do they always pick me up?" Melina asked and Lita threw her arm around her.

"Let's go see Trevor Richards and ask him," she said as the sound of Ave Maria flowed out of apartment 3 causing neighbors to stop and listen slowly taking the heavenly music in.

Casa Lavaca – Southtown:

Trevor Richards played fervently at his piano which was facing the window of his apartment so he could see anyone coming while he was playing. The sight of two women coming towards the building caused him to stop and re-read the note his daughter had written for him,

"_A woman named Amy is coming to see you, says she can help you so look out for her. Love you Daddy – Juliette."_

He buzzed the two women up and unlocked his door.

"Now we're gonna have to use sign language so don't say anything, he can't hear remember?" Lita said as they approached the open door.

"I've got a better idea," Melina said walking over to Trevor Richards and extending her hand with a warm smile. They stayed like that for awhile until Melina dropped her hand and Trevor looked at her with a smile.

"Are you Trevor Richards?" Melina asked.

"Yes I am," he said surprised at the sound of his voice.

"Do you believe in God?" she asked and Trevor shook his head.

"Yes I most certainly do," he said sticking his finger in his ear to make sure he wasn't going crazy.

"Well Sir my name is Melina the Miraculous and God sent me here to heal you, we just have a few questions and we'll be on our way – whoa!" Melina gasped as Trevor lifted her off her feet.

"Oh thank you thank you thank you!" Trevor said clutching her tightly and Lita laughed at the way he was spinning her around.

"You're welcome," Melina squeezed out and she motioned to Lita to make with the questions because it didn't look like Trevor Richards was gonna be putting her down anytime soon.

"Mr. Richards hi, my name is Amy I was wondering if- "

"So you're Amy the one my daughter told me would come, oh thank you thank you thank you!" he said putting down Melina and picking up Lita and spinning her around too.

"Whoa!" Lita exclaimed and now Melina was the one laughing and it didn't look like Trevor would be stopping anytime soon.

"Excuse me Mr. Richards?" Melina asked delicately and Trevor stopped spinning Lita around and turned to face her.

"I'm so sorry where are my manners, would you ladies like a reward of some kind, a case of wine or a couple of Opera season tickets?" Trevor offered.

"No thank you Mr. Richards we don't need a reward, just keep on praising God and give your life to Jesus that's enough for us, well, for you really," Melina said and Mr. Richards shook his head in agreement.

"Whatever you say ladies, it's just so good to be able to hear again!" Trevor Richards said pumping his fists in the air with joy.

"Yes but you mustn't take your health for granted, give God thanks for blessing you with hearing or you might just lose it again," Melina warned him and Trevor got a little nervous and approached her apprehensively.

"What you think he's gonna take it away from me again?" he asked in a scared voice, "Is that why you're here to warn me? Oh golly I don't wanna make God mad, okay so all I have to do is give thanks and say my prayers and everything's gonna be alright right?" he asked desperately.

"Mr. Richards you can't bargain with God, just trust in Him and everything will be alright," Lita said and Trevor looked at her skeptically.

"Just trust in Him you say?" he asked anxiously.

"It's on our currency," Lita answered and Trevor pulled a twenty dollar bill out of the jeans pocket and read the inscription closely.

""In God We Trust," well I'll be damned," he said and Melina gasped.

"Well we certainly hope not!" she said and Trevor chuckled nervously.

"Mr. Richards could you tell us where you got your iPod from?" Lita asked the worrisome man.

"It was delivered to me by UPS last week as a birthday present from my ex-wife, I should have known it was cursed somehow, she never could understand my love of music," he explained. Lita and Melina looked at each other knowingly at the mention of UPS.

"Do you still have the box?" Lita asked and Richard nodded.

"Yeah," he said.

"Do you mind if I see it?" Lita asked.

"Sure give me a second," he said and headed towards his bedroom to find the box.

"Thank you," Lita said as he handed her the box. She looked over it closely and zeroed in on words inscribed on the side.

"Just like Angela's gift," Melina said looking over Lita's shoulder at the box as well.

"Can we take this Mr. Richards?" Lita asked and Trevor nodded fervently.

"Take it good riddens to bad gifts," he said and Lita touched him on the arm.

"I don't know if your wife cursed this gift but if she did I pray you will forgive her and not speak ill of her lest the words of your tongue bound you to a bitter life. You loved her once maybe you can find that part of your heart that remembers her fondly and bring those feelings to the surface again," she said softly and Trevor definitely was softened by her words.

"Thank you Amy I'll give it a shot," he said with a smile.

"God bless you Trevor Richards," Lita said and he waved to both her and Melina as they exited his apartment.

"God bless you too guys!" he said ecstatically and jumped onto his piano with zeal and gratitude, "Forgive me Father for I have sinned but I am saved by Your Grace and Mercy, thank You for this second chance. This one's for you Father. Enjoy!" he said.

"He's playing us out," Melina said recognizing the signature of "Joy to the World," "Just like Angela Perez,"

"Just their way of praising God for health and strength," Lita replied pleasantly.

"You think his wife cursed the iPod? And what's UPS got to do with all this?" Melina asked looking over the box.

"I don't know," Lita answered, "but I know someone who does," she said pulling out her cell-phone.

Toronto, Canada:

"Hello?"

"Hey Trish, we think something's going on with the UPS delivery service and we need your God-given talents to help us out, fancy a trip to America?" Lita asked keenly.

"Sure anything to be with my afro puff - I mean my compatriots in Christ," Trish answered blushing.

"Nice save Stratus, I'm sure he feels the same way about his Canadian cream pie," Lita responded and Trish blushed even harder.

"See you tomorrow, bye Melina," Trish said and hung up the phone her cheeks a strong shade of pink.

Texas, USA:

"I know something you don't know," Lita said to Melina teasingly.

"About what, the afro or the puff?" Melina answered and Lita screwed up her nose in confusion.

"I don't even wanna know," she said as they walked away from the most musical apartment on the block.


	3. Monday Night Kisses

Title: The Adventures of ATM and the UPS Guy

Author: Kaykyaka

Disclaimer: I do not own any of the characters used within this fictional story. No copyright infringement is intended and no money is being made by this work of fiction.  
Ratings: K+

Characters: Lita, Trish Stratus (not married in this story), Melina, DX, Edge, Nitro, Carlito, Shelton Benjamin, Randy Orton.

Summary: A woman's face is turned permanently red by make-up, an iPod makes a man lose his hearing and ATM is on the case!

Three - Monday Night Kisses

RAW backstage:

"Hey guys what's up with Shelton?" Edge asked Nitro as the 3 time IC Champ rolled around on the floor holding his ribs with laughter.

"He's relieved he finally got to talk on RAW tonight," said the arrogant Randy Orton on his way to the showers. That killed Shelton's laughter right there and he was suddenly in a fighting mood as were the rest of the guys in the locker room now, Randy Orton had left an unpleasant taste in all their mouths.

"What's with him?" Nitro asked confused, "He's been so weird recently," and Edge nodded in agreement then he looked over at Carlito who was incessantly wiping his eyes. Edge cocked his eyebrow suspiciously.

"Carlito are you crying?" he asked frankly and that started Shelton right off laughing again.

"Dude that's not funny," he said to Shelton disapprovingly.

"Ask him why he's crying," Shelton said amidst his chuckling and Edge ventured over to the apple biter.

"He said he had something in his eye," Nitro said in his rival's defense.

"Carlito, do you have something in your eye or are you really upset about something?" Edge asked compassionately. Carlito sniffed hard and looked up at Edge with the reddest eyes. It was obvious that he was upset and Edge put his hand on Carllto's arm, "What is it what's wrong?" he asked softly.

"Trish called me last night, she's coming to RAW and I'm so happy!" he said and Edge stared at him blankly. His nose was running and his eyes were wetter than Niagara Falls on a rainy day. Edge looked back at Nitro who couldn't believe Shelton was telling the truth and decided to join him on the floor accompanied eventually by Edge. Eventually the three men were making so much noise DX had to come in a see what all the noise was about.

"Ask him," Edge laughed pointing at Carlito who was still crying and Hunter and Shawn walked over to the crying Carib.

"What's the matter Li, are these guys picking on you because of your hair?" Hunter asked concerned and Carlito shook his head.

"Are they picking on you because of your accent?" Shawn asked and Carlito shook his head and DX looked at each other and shrugged saying together:

"So what you crying for?"

Carlito looked up and said, "Because my girlfriend's coming to see me!" and Shawn could barely disguise his cackling and before he knew it a throaty laugh was ripping from his throat and he was joining Edge, Nitro and Shelton on the floor.

"Now, now, now guys," Triple H said putting his arm around Carlito whose face was leaking right now, "there's nothing funny about a guy crying over Trish Stratus. I mean we all miss her so much already we understand Carlito we really do, but could you do me a favor, just one small thing before I go?" Hunter asked looking at Carlito sweetly and the Puerto Rican nodded through his tears.

"Uh-huh," he said.

"CUT THE CRAP AND GET A GRIP ON YOURSELF!" Hunter yelled pulling Carlito up by the shirt.

"Hey that's my boyfriend's shirt you're pulling," said the confident voice of The Truth: Trish Stratus at the doorway of the men's locker room. All the laughing stopped and the guys stood up graciously as she entered their territory. They parted like the Red Sea as she made her way over to Carlito.

"Hey there afro puff, my friends and I are trying a solve a little mystery in the women's locker room and I need a little inspiration, would you like to join us?" she said suggestively and suddenly Carlito didn't feel like crying anymore.

"Lead the way," he said and he sauntered out of the locker room behind his amazing girlfriend leaving the guys with a smirk before he left.

"Afro puff?" they all said together then went right back to laughing on the floor.

In the women's locker room:

"Ur-hum,"

Lita cleared her throat for the millionth time while Trish and Carlito showed her and Melina how much they missed each other by embracing like reunited twins on Ricky Lake and kissing like the unabashed lovers they were. Both Carlito and Trish were starving for each other, since Trish retired she had only seen Carlito twice while she sorted herself out in Canada and Carlito had journeyed back and forth all over the country in tears thinking about how much he missed her. Lita thought about what that meant as the two love-birds made up for lost time; in the long run, the kisses were going to get harder and the embraces longer which meant less time for Melina and herself to pick their compatriot's brain. Lita and Melina needed her as much as Carlito did the only difference was they didn't show it in the same way.

"That's it! I need me some Nitro!" Melina called out suddenly missing her boyfriend but Lita pulled her back.

"Don't you desert me too!" she said and Trish pulled away from Carlito realizing what she was doing.

"Sorry come here guys," she said and Lita and Melina shook their heads.

"No you two go ahead we understand, right Mel – Melina!" Lita called out after the Latina but she was on her way to the men's locker room.

"Oh gees!" Lita exclaimed demurely looking at the box in her hand.

"Give me that," Trish said taking the box and inspecting it closely, "Yep it's a curse alright," she said and dropped the box going back to kiss Carlito. Lita looked at her blankly.

"Trish?" she asked but the blonde was tangled in caramel arms and afro hair. Lita picked up the box and went to find Melina. She didn't have to look far because she was outside the men's locker room door kissing it up with Nitro.

"Melina?" she asked but she might as well have been invisible because Melina wasn't responding to her call. Lita considered her options, she could either wait for both her allies to be satisfied by their boyfriends or she could crack on with the case herself with the information that she had. _Okay so I've spoken to two people both live in Texas and have received gifts from UPS in boxes with curses written on them that have caused a skin abnormality and loss of hearing. So this means that there's a connection between the two, the curse and UPS. So all I have to do is go down to the depot and check for any suspicious goings on, but what if more of these gifts are being delivered, how do I stop them? _Lita looked over at Melina and figured Trish was pretty much still doing the same thing and sighed. _I need someone not attracted to anyone on the male roster._

"Whassup Lita?" called HBK fully dressed, freshly showered and ready to go back to Texas.

"Hey Shawn, what are you doing tomorrow?" Lita called out walking over to the Grand Slam winner.

"Nuthin' just working out," he replied and Hunter lowered his shades looking over at Lita his interest in their conversation becoming very obvious.

"Great, I need you," she said and Hunter gasped and pointed at her accusingly.

"HA! I knew it!" he said and Lita rolled her eyes, "You heard her she needs you! Deny it now Shawnie I dare you to deny it now!" he continued as HBK scowled at him clenching his fists in rage.

"I told you to knock it off!" he said angrily and turned to Lita calmly, "I'm sorry Lita, how can I help you?"

"Well actually I need both of you," she said and Hunter looked at her stunned.

"That's some nerve you got there Lita," Hunter said offended, "You think that The Game would jeopardize his marriage and career for one hour in the sack with you? You're damn right I would, let's go to my hotel room,"

"Hunter!" HBK cried appalled.

"Shawnie if you're not in this thing keep a look out for Edge. No? Okay you can pray for us while we do it, come on Lita," Hunter said taking the red-head by the arm then flinching as a shock of electricity went through his arm like he had just touched an electric fence. HBK's eyes narrowed in curiosity as the red-head looked at them both in amusement. Edge walked up to the notorious twosome and put his arm around Lita.

"Hey doll-face," he said giving her a kiss.

"What was that?" Hunter snapped.

"How quickly you forget," Edge said shaking his head at Hunter pitifully, "No weapon formed against her shall be able to prosper," Sound familiar?"

Shawn began to flash-back and saw terrible images of broken glass and Stephanie McMahon's frightened eyes. Lita touched his hand and told him to relax.

"It's okay Shawn, you're okay now," she said gently and Shawn blushed.

"That anointing's a real turn on huh?" Hunter said nudging HBK suggestively but Shawn pushed him away and said a quick mental prayer to make amends for dishonoring his wife.

Hunter looked down at his groin," And just so we're clear, this is not a weapon, it's an extension of my love and respect for your girlfriend in the form of a huge c-" he explained but Shawn squashed his hand over Hunter's mouth before he could finish.

"As I was saying I need your help, I have to go down to the UPS deport in Texas and I need you guys to destroy a million packages," she said as Hunter tried to shake the feeling back into his arm and Shawn contemplated what she was asking.

"You want us to destroy people's mail?" he asked.

"No Shawn I don't want you to, God wants you to, the mail may be cursed, turns out there was cryptic writing written on the boxes of that iPod and ladies make-up that you saw in the San Antonio Express. Look," she said showing Shawn the box in her hand.

"I can't see anything," Shawn answered looking at the box closely and Lita frowned wondering how come she could and he couldn't, "but if you say it's there then it's there," he said.

"So are you in?" Lita asked then she looked at Hunter warily, "I don't even have to to ask if you're in,"

Hunter nodded, "I'm already there baby," he said and Edge laughed at Hunter's corniness.

HBK nodded, "Anything for the Almighty," he said genuinely and Lita rubbed his arm gratefully.

"I knew I could count on you," she said smiling as HBK savored the warm feeling coming from where her fingers were touching his arm,

"God says thanks," she said and HBK nodded the memory of the past month startling him a little.

"It will be okay Shawn, I promise," Lita reassured him noticing the disturbance in his face.

"Okay," he said his heart warmed by her smile, "See you tomorrow," he said to Lita sweetly.

"She's yours now but she's mine tomorrow you lucky sonofabitch!" Hunter said to Edge as Shawn pulled his friend towards the exit.

"I apologize for my friend he's eternally horny," Shawn said and Lita shrugged.

"Well I'll give him a call if I've got a spare 15 minutes," Lita replied and she shared a big laugh with Shawn and a contemptuous scowl ran over Hunter's face.

"Hey man I can go for a lot longer than that!" he said as laughter rang out of the men's locker room, "Hey shut up in there!" Hunter cried indignantly.

"Man what's with all the kissing?" Edge said sticking his head in the women's locker room and noticing Melina and Nitro outside the door of the men's locker room.

"Lina and Trish are extremely busy getting to know their boyfriends a little better but it's cool, I've got a back-up plan," Lita said watching as Shawn dragged Hunter out of the building.

"I don't know if you can trust that plan," Edge said as Hunter drew the outline of a female shape with his hands and started thrusting his pelvis towards it with Shawn looking away appalled.

"Don't worry, Shawn won't let him touch me," Lita answered and Edge looked at her with a frown.

"Shawn? Don't you mean God?" he asked and Lita threw her arms around him and gave him a big kiss.

"Sorry force a habit," she said and he pulled her in an even bigger kiss.

"Man this kissing thing is infectious," Nitro said as Edge and Lita kissed it up next to him and Melina.

"Look at him just rubbing it in our faces," Hunter said scowling at the sight of Edge and Lita kissing. Shawn kissed Hunter on the cheek.

"Feel better?" Shawn asked playfully and Hunter's face darkened.

"I'm rooming with Umaga tonight," he said and walked off to his rental car with Shawn smiling behind him.


	4. The Blood of Jesus Christ

Title: The Adventures of ATM and the UPS Guy

Author: Kaykyaka

Disclaimer: I do not own any of the characters used within this fictional story. No copyright infringement is intended and no money is being made by this work of fiction.  
Ratings: K+

Characters: Lita, Trish Stratus (not married in this story), Melina, DX, Edge, Nitro, Carlito, Shelton Benjamin, Randy Orton.

Summary: A woman's face is turned permanently red by make-up, an iPod makes a man lose his hearing and ATM is on the case!

Four - The Blood of Jesus Christ

UPS Depot, Dallas Love, TX:

After Shawn and Hunter shook hands and signed autographs for a dozen UPS delivery guys Lita realized why it had been impossible for her to get Trish and Melina's attention last night: God didn't want them to come with her. It would have been too suspicious if the three Divas turned up and asked to look around for no apparent reason, whereas DX turning up and asking for three UPS uniforms to use as a stunt on Vince McMahon went over with no problem what-so-ever. As Lita tucked in her UPS shirt she took a moment and looked up in the air and said _You're an Awesome God_. Shawn looked up and said _Thank You for giving me the willpower to not look at Lita while she was changing_ and Hunter said,

"Would you guys mind if I walked around like this?"

Shawn mouth dropped and he grabbed Hunter's pants and beat him over the head with them.

"Put these on right now!" he yelled and Lita tried to suppress a chuckle at the sight of Shawn whooping Hunter like he was a little boy. She straightened her UPS cap, her back facing Hunter while he got fully dressed.

"Okay Lita he's decent," Shawn said and Hunter pouted.

"Oh sure wait 'til I'm all covered up then tell her I'm decent, what happened to you Shawn? I used to be able to rely on you for shit like this! Ow!" Hunter yelled as Shawn whooped him hard with his Levi's, "Those buttons hurt! Okay quit it!"

After the beating subsided Lita walked over to both of them and took their hands in her own.

"Okay guys listen to me, there's a demonic force in this building and I'm gonna find it but I have to cover you guys before we go in to make sure what happened to you in Connecticut doesn't happen to you here in Dallas Love," Hunter and Shawn looked at each other sheepishly.

"You're gonna put that cloth around us?" Hunter asked and Lita's eyes lit up.

"You remember!" she gasped.

"Not everything but I remember waking up underneath it and asking Stephanie what it was and she said it was a prayer cloth and told me not to blow my nose on it," he answered and Shawn shook his head in disbelief.

"That's right it's called a Tallit but I won't use it now because this demon is randomly assigned, not like the one that possessed you guys knowing who you were, this demon doesn't care who you are, all I have to do is find it and vanquish it," Lita answered.

"So what are you gonna cover us with?" Hunter asked confused.

"The Blood of Jesus Christ," Lita answered and Hunter cocked an eyebrow suspiciously.

"You sure He doesn't mind?" he asked looking up to the sky and Lita smiled.

"He insists," she answered, "Bow your heads and close your eyes guys," she said and they obeyed, "Heavenly Father, this is Your servant Amy the Anointed reporting for work. This morning I will vanquish the demon that has been cursing Your children and I pray that You will cover Shawn and Hunter with the Blood of Jesus Christ and protect them from the powers of darkness as they assist me today. I pray this in the Name of the Father, the Son and the Holy Spirit. Amen,"

"Amen," Hunter and Shawn said.

"Okay let's get going," Lita said and frowned at Hunter who was running his hands over his head and checking his fingers. Shawn rolled his eyes.

"It's not the actual blood of Jesus Christ!" he said exasperated with his buddy's lack of understanding.

"Well with her you never know!" Hunter said back defensively.

"Look you're covered, let's go," Shawn said and the three wrestlers re-entered the building incognito.

"Yeah but with what?" Hunter asked still confused about the prayer.

"Hunter you can't see it but what I've prayed for God to cover you with is the most powerful thing on Earth," Lita explained as they walked into the building.

"Really? Can it power a generator?" he asked curiously.

"It's more powerful than ten generators," Lita answered.

"Wow!" Hunter gasped and Shawn shook his head embarrassed by Hunter once again.

"Look we can't all be in the top tenth percentile of Bible study class okay?" Hunter said noticing Shawn's incessant eye-rolling.

Well if you read those Scriptures I gave you maybe you'd be on the same page as Cameron by now!" Shawn said back and Hunter gushed in shock.

"You trying to tell me that Cameron understands that whole thing about the Blood of Jesus Christ not being real blood?" Hunter asked unconvinced.

"Who said it's not real blood?" Shawn asked furrowing his brow.

"Well if it's real how come my hair's not all red?" Hunter retaliated.

"Because she didn't pray that God would put His son's blood all over your head, she prayed that God would protect you with His Son's Blood, get it?" Shawn said.

"No Shawn I don't, explain it to me," Hunter said.

"Look, Jesus died right?" Shawn asked.

"Yeah?" Hunter said.

"And 3 days later he rose from the dead, right?" Shawn asked.

"Right?" Hunter replied checking his Sunday school teachings.

"So what does that mean?" Shawn asked and Hunter thought about it.

"That he's a zombie?" he answered and Shawn smacked his head with his hand.

"It means that He's alive!" Shawn cried, "Jesus is alive and His Blood is as powerful now as it was then, get it? Lita just prayed that God would cover you with the Blood of a man who been alive for over 2000 years, don't you think that's some powerful Blood?"

Hunter was silent and continued to walk that way until they reached the assembly line. Lita looked over at Hunter who was still trying to fathom the lesson Shawn had given him.

"You take your time Hunter it will come, why don't you check out these boxes? See if you find any weird writing on any of them," she said and Hunter nodded leaving Lita to have a word with Shawn.

"Take it easy on him Shawnie, not everybody understands the Blood of Jesus Christ and why it's so important," she said.

"But he should after everything God's done for him in his life," Shawn answered folding his arms in discontent.

"Yeah like give him a friend who cares about his eternal soul enough to embarrass him in a building full of people who themselves may not understand the significance of the Blood and the power it can have in our lives," Lita said.

"Sorry Lita but it feels like I am in the top tenth percentile of Bible Study class sometimes, and everybody else is happy with just barely getting through," Shawn said disgruntled.

"Well you're not some New Testament nerd Shawn, when it comes to God we could all learn a little more, like how to be a servant to each other and not to judge each other, you could definitely stand to learn more of that," Lita answered thinking back on her trip to the Rivercenter Mall and Shawn nodded.

"I'm sorry," he said, "I'll go easy on him,"

"Yeah you be nice to the horny beast," Lita said and Shawn laughed as Hunter ran back to them.

"Hey Hunter sorry I was being so self-righteous with you, I just care about what happens to you after you die that's all, I'd kinda like to continue DX in heaven," Shawn said and Hunter rolled his eyes.

"No offence Shawn but I don't wanna hang around with you in Heaven," Hunter said and Shawn gasped.

"Why not?" he asked hurt.

"Nevermind that now , Lita all these boxes got weird writing on them," Hunter said pointing to the thousands of boxes going down the assembly point from the back of the building.

"That's a lot of curses," Lita said and she looked over to the back of the building and saw a man sitting there putting his hands on the boxes one by one. Her eyes widened and she ran over to him and noticed his eyes were rolled back into his head and he was invoking some kind of curse with his mouth that was showing up on each package he touched. Lita frowned not understanding how she was seeing this writing but the other men on the assembly line didn't notice it. She tapped one of the assembly guys on the shoulder and he turned to face her.

"Can I help you?" he asked.

"Don't you see this writing here?" Lita asked and the man looked at the box and frowned at her.

"What the postal address?" he asked confused.

"No beneath it," Lita said and the man just looked at her like she was crazy.

"What are you talking about lady?" he asked curtly.

"Only I can see it," she said to herself and she ran back to Shawn and Hunter leaving the assembly line guy scratching his head.

"Lita what is that writing?" Hunter asked, "Not now Shawn!" Hunter snapped pulling his arm away from HBK who was pulling on his sleeve trying to get his attention.

"It's a curse," Lita replied looking at the thousands of boxes going down the conveyer belt, "see that man up there? He's putting a curse on all these boxes,"

Shawn and Hunter looked up at the man, "It doesn't look like he's doing anything," Hunter said.

"Yeah he blends right in," Shawn said looking around at the tired men hardly checking the boxes as they went by.

"How come nobody noticed the writing?" Hunter asked.

"Do you have to ask? Look around Hunter, nobody's noticing anything," Shawn said.

"They can't see it," she answered.

"Well how come we can see it?" Hunter asked.

"Because I prayed for you," Lita replied and Hunter drew a deep breath.

"You mean because of the Blood of Jesus Christ?" he asked and Lita nodded, "Man that is some powerful Blood!" he cried impressed.

"See, see I told you!" Shawn piped up wagging his finger in Hunter's face and Lita shook her head admonishing Shawn for his boastful behavior.

"And you wonder why I don't wanna hang with you in Heaven," Hunter said and Shawn pouted, "So what we gonna do about all these packages Lita?" Hunter asked turning to the red-head.

"You guys are gonna cause a distraction and I'm gonna destroy them," Lita answered.

"What should we do set off the fire alarm?" Shawn asked.

"No then we would all have to evacuate, you guys need to pull off a DX prank," Lita said and Hunter and Shawn's eyes lit up.

"We're on it," Hunter said and he and Shawn ran off out of the building. A few minutes later there was a huge bang and all the assembly line workers ran out of the building.

"ARE YOU READY?" roared Hunter's voice from outside and the sound of voices cheering rang loud outside the building. When Lita was certain mostly everyone was outside she walked over to the demon-possessed man and put her hands on his shoulders. At her touch he flinched and threw her off into some boxes stacked up behind her. Suddenly the man was struggling to breathe and Lita panicked.

"No God please don't kill him! He's being attacked by a random demon he's not acting out of spite or malice, please Father spare his life and I will bring him to his knees at Your feet. Please Father!" she pleaded and the man slowly began to breathe easy again.

"Thank You Father!" she said and jumped on the man's back grabbing his head and squeezing it tight.

"I renounce you in the Name of Jesus Christ!" she cried and gripped the man's shoulders firmly as he shook violently making sure not to let go of him. Suddenly he gave a huge shriek and the building shook. Lita looked up certain that the roof was going to collapse and it did destroying everything around them in the process and damaging the packages beyond repair.

"Nice," Lita said through the chaos and checked the man to make sure he was alive.

"What happened?" he said to Lita and she patted him on the back.

"That's what we're going to find out," she said as the assembly workers rallied around the rubble and dust, then as the smoke cleared there appeared a red-head and a disorientated factory worker standing in the middle of it all completely untouched. Shawn and Hunter gasped as the men went over to make sure the mysterious woman and assembly line guy were okay.

"The power of the Blood," Hunter said to himself amazed and Shawn patted him on the shoulder proudly thanking Lita for giving him a demonstration of what he'd been trying to explain to Hunter for a long, long time.


	5. Strangers in a Taxi

Title: The Adventures of ATM and the UPS Guy

Author: Kaykyaka

Disclaimer: I do not own any of the characters used within this fictional story. No copyright infringement is intended and no money is being made by this work of fiction.  
Ratings: K+

Characters: Lita, Trish Stratus (not married in this story), Melina, DX, Edge, Nitro, Carlito, Shelton Benjamin, Randy Orton.

Summary: A woman's face is turned permanently red by make-up, an iPod makes a man lose his hearing and ATM is on the case!

Five - Strangers in a Taxi

Stamford, Connecticut:

The news coverage of the UPS depot implosion was more extensive then Lita had hoped, so extensive that the media had chased Vince McMahon into his office asking him whether he authorized the "latest DX prank".

"I just wanna know what prank the media's talking about?" Vince said to Shawn, Hunter and Lita whom he demanded come to Stamford and explain themselves.

"Well we kinda backed a freight truck into a steel shaft and it collapsed onto the UPS loading dock," Hunter explained, "Sorry,"

"WHAT!" Vince said his eyebrows almost lifting off his head.

"Hey we were just trying to get to know our fan base a little better," Shawn explained.

"UPS delivery men and factory workers?" Vince said incredulously.

Shawn shrugged, "Well we can't all come from your semen you know,"

Hunter chuckled and Vince scowled at him.

"I have no doubt that this was your idea Helmsley," he said.

"Look what does it matter? We're on the news again! You love it when the Fed gets in the news," Hunter said trying to placate Vince.

"But not for destroying public property!" Vince shouted thumbing his fist on the desk, "And causing a damn implosion!"

"Watch your mouth Vince," Lita said suddenly and Shawn and Hunter nearly collapsed in surprise.

"Excuse me?" Vince said darkly and Lita decided to revert back to character.

"Mr. McMahon DX had nothing to do with that!" Lita said on Shawn and Hunter's behalf, "In fact if they hadn't called all the workers out of the building the implosion would have killed them all,"

"I don't even wanna know why you were there Lita," Vince said turning to the red-head.

"I was checking out all the packages of course," she answered cheekily and Hunter and Shawn giggled.

"I should have known," Vince replied, "okay that's enough dammit!" he shouted at Shawn and Hunter who were still laughing.

"Vince please watch your language," Hunter said trying not to laugh anymore.

"I mean, gosh darn it, oh to Hell with all of you!" he shouted, "In the future I want to me made well aware in advance of any public appearances any of you degenerates will be making in the future, got it?" The three Superstars shook their heads, "Good, dismissed," he said putting his feet up on the desk and reading the newspaper as Hunter, Shawn and Lita left the room.

"Thank Heavens!" Lita exclaimed as they exited the office.

"That was close," Hunter said and nudged Lita on the arm, "Nice save with the "package" line, do you know what Vince would have done to you if he found out that you caused the implosion?"

"I have some idea," Lita answered, the words "YOU'RE FIRED!" ringing through her head.

"He called you a degenerate, that means you're one of us now," Hunter said putting his arm around her.

"I still can't believe how powerful you are," Shawn said impressed.

"Well I couldn't have done it without God that's for sure. Thanks guys I really needed you today," Lita said shaking each of their hands.

"Anything for you my darling," Hunter cooed squeezing Lita so that there was no space between them.

"Hunter get off her or I'll pull you off," Shawn said and Hunter raised his eyebrows surprised at Shawn's menacing tone and took his arms from around Lita's shoulders.

"What you gonna do with him?" Hunter asked referring to the stocky UPS guy waiting in the lounge for Lita to return.

"That right there is the key to this whole thing," Lita answered and her cell-phone rang.

"Hello?" she said.

"I'm outside," Melina said looking up at Titan Towers.

"Okay I'll be down in a minute," Lita said and hung up. She stretched out her arms and Shawn hugged her, Hunter decided to just wave. "Thanks again," she said.

"See you later," Hunter said and Shawn smiled at her and she smiled back happy that his opinion of her has changed considerably since yesterday. She turned to the UPS guy and headed towards him pocketing her cell-phone.

"Sorry about the wait, my boss is a very demanding man," she said as he folded up the newspaper and stood to his feet.

"That's alright, I've never seen Connecticut," he said, "I never flown First Class either. Thanks for paying for my flight,"

"That's quite alright, let's go my friend's waiting for us," Lita said walking with the UPS guy to the elevator.

Outside:

Melina was waiting for Lita with a smile eager to meet the man that was at the heart of the bizarre gift-related abnormalities.

"Hey there!" she said stretching out her hand, "How's it feel to be free of demon possession?" she asked.

"It's alright," the man said inertly and Melina was taken aback by his indifferent attitude and looked at Lita with a shrug.

Lita shrugged back, "This is Melina," she said.

"I know who she is," the UPS guy replied and Melina was taken further aback.

"Oh so you're a fan?" she asked.

"No," he answered flatly, "you're the one who got Mick Foley fired,"

"Yeah but that was before I got saved," Melina replied.

"Saved from what from losing your job of prancing around trying to look pretty?" the UPS guy responded offensively.

"Hey it's not an act I am pretty!" Melina reacted arrogantly.

"If you like that Latin look," the UPS guy responded and Lita had to restrain Melina because the Diva was about to three seconds from taking the UPS guy's head off.

"Okay let's calm down we've got to work with this guy," Lita said to Melina who was fired up and ready to fight.

"He dissed my ancestry, ordained by God or not, I gotta throw down for my people, viva la raza!" Melina shouted out.

"Ssh!" Lita said pulling Melina's flailing arms back down to her side, "You have the authority to heal not kill, let me talk to him okay?" she said and Melina stood still boring a hole into the man's head with her eyes. Lita walked back over to the UPS guy and made as nice as she could without seeming artificially sweet.

"Hey man, I just wanted to make sure your attitude towards Melina is based on her convincing portrayal of an evil wench on RAW and not against Latinos in general. You don't have anything against Latinos do you?" she asked and the UPS guy folded his arms resolutely.

"Why are you Latino?" he asked abrasively.

"No," Lita answered, "but a lot of my friends are like Melina and Rey-Rey and –"

"Carlito!" Melina called out suddenly.

"And Carlito he's cool! But it's like not really cool to be dissing people because of their ancestry," Lita explained not seeing Carlito coming up behind her.

"Not this guy again," the UPS guy said shaking his head at the approaching Puerto Rican and the Canadian blond pulling him over to Lita and Melina by his ear. Lita turned to see what all the commotion was about.

"Now Melina there's no need to start cussing in Spanish," she started to say when she saw Carlito and Trish standing behind her, "Oh Carlito it's you," she said, "Trish, what are you doing here?"

"Yeah I thought you went home to Canada?" Melina said curiously her anger against the UPS guy subsiding for the moment.

"Hey guys, I was but I got a word from the Holy Spirit that this man may have a reason for doing what he did," Trish said motioning to the UPS guy who wasn't too impressed at seeing Carlito.

"What do you mean?" Lita asked and Trish thrust Carlito in front of the UPS guy.

"Do you know this man sir?" she asked the UPS guy.

"I sure do," the UPS guy answered unhappily, "this is the sonofabitch who spit apple in my face!" he said and Lita and Melina gasped in disbelief.

"Carlito you didn't!" Lita exclaimed and the usually cool one nodded that yes in fact he did.

"You lost your cool?" Melina asked surprised at Carlito.

"Yes and I'm going to lose my ear if you don't let go!" he said to Trish and she reluctantly let go whacking him over the head for good measure.

"You know why he did it?" Trish asked Lita and Melina.

"Why?" they asked together.

"Because I delivered a package late," the UPS guy said and Lita and Melina shook their head at Carlito disapprovingly.

"Oh Carlito," Lita said disappointed.

"I was mad I wanted Trish to have that package before she left for Canada," he explained rubbing his ear.

"That doesn't give you the right to spit in the UPS guy's face," Melina said.

"I know, look dude you travel all across America delivering packages, have you any idea what it's like traveling for hours on a plane or bus waiting for the week to end so you can finally see your girlfriend who you haven't seen in weeks?" Carlito asked the UPS guy.

"Sure I understand, travel can be as lonely as Hell," the UPS guy said sympathetically.

"Right and I'm sorry but when you showed up at my hotel room with that package, I just couldn't express my anger any other way then to spit in your face and I'm sorry, really, I was out of line," Carlito said sincerely.

"Well I thought I'd never trust a Latino again after that," the UPS guy said, "but I can see that you really wanted to treat you girl so I forgive you dude,"

The UPS guy stretched out his hand and Carlito shook it.

"Happy now?" Carlito said to Trish.

"Not yet, Carlito wasn't the reason you cursed all those packages, something else happened that day," Trish said.

"Look I don't know exactly what happened there," the UPS guy said throwing his hands up in the air innocently, "I was pretty mad at Carlito and the Latino population in general but I don't remember cursing anyone," he said.

"What happened after you delivered the package?" Lita asked.

"I wanted to get out of the hotel as fast as possible when this guy came over to me and told me he saw what Carlito did and gave me a huge tip to make up for it," the UPS guy said.

"Somebody offered you a tip? That's pretty weird," Melina said.

"Sure was generous though," Lita said, "How much was it?"

"$100," the UPS guy answered.

"Whoa," they all exclaimed in surprise.

"He must have been a wrestler too and was afraid that you would sue," Lita said hitting Carlito on the arm.

"Do you remember what the guy looked like?" Melina asked.

"Really good looking, always had his chin up in the air and he's got barb wire tattoos on his forearms," the UPS guy answered unaware that he had just described Randy Orton, "I guess I must have gone home after that I don't really remember what happened next,"

"So you don't remember spending that $100?" Lita asked.

"Not really," the UPS guy replied.

"Do you remember what you did with it?" she asked again.

"Sure I put it in my wallet with the rest of my money," he answered.

"Can I see it?" Lita asked.

"Okay," the UPS guy said taking out his wallet, "Here you go," he said giving the $100 bill to Lita. Trish and Melina came over and looked at the bill too then they all looked at each other with the same expression.

"Is everything alright?" the UPS guy asked them after awhile. Lita quickly exchanged the bill he gave them with one of her own before answering.

"Yeah fine, look you've been under a lot of stress on account of the WWE, we'd love to buy you dinner before you head back to Texas," Lita said giving him back the bill.

"Sure I'd love that I'm starved," the UPS guy answered putting the $100 bill back in his wallet, "Oh and Melina? Apologies to you and your people, Latinos are cool!" he said giving her the Mick Foley thumbs up.

"Thank you," Melina said gratefully.

"But what you did to Mick Foley was wrong, Latino or not," the UPS guy added and Melina lowered her head feeling bad about the whole thing herself. Lita threw her arm around her compassionately while Trish hailed a cab.

"That $100 bill had a curse on it," Trish whispered to Lita, "and I'm getting a really weird vibe from the UPS guy,"

"Why?" Melina asked.

"Because he just lied to you," Trish answered.

"So Randy's didn't curse the money?" Melina asked.

"No," Trish answered.

"But he's been acting so weird lately. Do you think it's because of what happened in Bridgeport?" Melina asked.

"He nearly died you guys, maybe he got more hurt that night than we realized," Lita said concerned as they all filed into the cab.

"Where to folks?" the cab driver said.

How about to the end of the block?" Trish answered and everyone frowned at her then looked to where she was looking and saw the Legend Killer talking to DX at the top of the street.

"It's Randy!" Melina cried.

"Everybody out!" Lita said moving out of the cab.

"Carlito you stay with the UPS guy," Trish said.

"What?" Carlito said horrified.

"Take this man to a nice restaurant, I'll meet you at the airport," Trish said and got out of the cab before Carlito had a chance to argue his point. As she ran off with Lita and Melina Carlito slumped down in his seat and shook his head in despair.

"Hey man, are you going to let her get away again?" the UPS guy said to the forlorn Puerto Rican. Carlito shook his head.

"Have you any idea what it's like traveling for hours on a plane or bus waiting for the week to end so you can finally see your girlfriend who you haven't seen in weeks and then she puts you in a cab with a stranger and runs off with her friends?" he answered.

"She prefers it that way," the UPS guy observed "it's all part of the fun,"

"Yeah well I prefer to have fun with my girlfriend, not without her," Carlito replied, "We're going uptown,"

"You got it," the cab driver said.

"No, I had it," Carlito said as the cab pulled away from the girl that broke his heart, but not for long. The cab suddenly grinded to a halt and Carlito and the UPS guy pitched forward.

"It's him it's the guy that gave me that $100!" The UPS guy exclaimed and Carlito looked up and saw Randy on top of the cab's hood scrambling round the side of the car trying to get in. He successfully opened the door and dove in with Hunter, Shawn, Nitro, Edge and Shelton running towards him.

"Drive man now!" he shouted to the cab driver and Carlito looked at him nonchalantly.

"Are you kidding?" he said and opened the cab door and pushed Randy back out. He tried to run from DX, Shelton, Edge and Nitro but it was no good, the guys cornered him and slammed him against the car so he didn't move. ATM slid in from the other side unnoticed by the people watching the spectacle on the sidewalk.

"Carlito, grab Orton!" Trish said.

Carlito rolled his eyes and reluctantly pulled Randy through the window causing the Legend Killer to scream out in pain.

"Oh no," Lita said looking out the cab window at the man silver-haired mogul power-walking his way over to the cab.

"Drive man drive!" Hunter said banging on the cab roof and the cab driver sped around the corner before Vincent K. McMahon could get anywhere near the occupants of the cab, instead Vince was left on the sidewalk with two IC Champs, a former World Champ and two degenerates.

Meanwhile in the taxi:

"Hey thanks for the tip man," the UPS guy said turning to Randy who was frustrated at having to spend time with his least favorite people again.

"I will tip you again if you can get me out of this cab," Randy replied.

"Yeah Randy we wanna talk to you about that tip," Lita said.

"Is that why you had your boys attack me?" Randy said defensively, "Because I gave a guy a generous tip? I didn't do anything wrong!"

"If you didn't do anything wrong why did you run when you saw us coming?" Melina asked.

"Because your boys were chasing me!" Randy said offended.

"That wasn't until after you started running," Lita replied, "but we're gonna get to the bottom of this Randy,"

"Yeah we're gonna solve this case just like we did before," Melina said and the cab driver frowned at the nature of the discussion they were having.

"Guys you're paranoid, let me out!" Randy said reaching for the handle but Carlito slapped his hand away.

"Relax," he said, "I could think of worse ways to spend my time than in a cab with three gorgeous women," Carlito said turning to Trish but she wasn't listening, she was preoccupied and Carlito wondered if she was alright.

"Trish you alright?" he asked leaning over towards her.

"Wait, wait," she said putting her hand up and Carlito sunk back down and crossed his arms stubbornly, _I feel like I've been waiting forever_ he said to himself.

"It sounds like you guys have some unfinished business to take care of I think I'll pass on dinner and just go back to Texas," the UPS guy said.

"No," Trish replied firmly picking up on a message from the Holy Spirit, "you must come with us this thing isn't over yet,"

"What thing what are you guys talking about?" Randy asked as they pulled up to a very familiar house that struck terror into Randy Orton's heart as he caught sight of it, "What the Hell are we doing back here?" he said on the verge of panic.

"Like I said we're going to get to the bottom of this," Lita answered, "thanks," she said to the cab driver giving him his fare. As he pulled away the UPS guy looked up at a very attractive young woman with a baby in her arms.

"Here we go again," Carlito said taking hold of Randy's arm as the Legend Killer tried to evade his present company. Lita put her arm around Trish who still looked distant and coupled with that was a look of concern.

"What is it Truth?" Lita asked her.

"You know when we were here before?" Trish said to Lita as Melina came over to them, "I don't think we got the job done,"

Melina and Lita looked at each other then they looked up at the house wondering what would happen to them inside there this time.


	6. Nightmare Revisited

Title: The Adventures of ATM and the UPS Guy

Author: Kaykyaka

Disclaimer: I do not own any of the characters used within this fictional story. No copyright infringement is intended and no money is being made by this work of fiction.  
Ratings: K+

Characters: Lita, Trish Stratus (not married in this story), Melina, DX, Edge, Nitro, Carlito, Shelton Benjamin, Randy Orton.

Summary: A woman's face is turned permanently red by make-up, an iPod makes a man lose his hearing and ATM is on the case!

Six - Nightmare Revisited

Vince's office, Titan Towers:

"Okay one more time, why were the five of you beating the Holy Hell out of Randy Orton on a public street in the middle of the day right outside WWE Headquarters?" Vince asked incredulously.

"He said I was gay!" Shelton Benjamin replied.

"He said I had female hips!" Johnny Nitro said.

"The guy just bugs me," Edge said with a shrug and Vince felt like he was the Principal of a very bad school.

"And now I come to the worst kids in the class," he said strutting over to DX who were looking up at the ceiling pretending not to see him, "This is the second time in half-an-hour that you have been in this room, can you tell me what Randy Orton did that deserved a five-man pounding?"

"He spat in my face!" Hunter replied.

"He screwed me out of a victory at Unforgiven!" Shawn replied.

"That was years ago!" Vince said.

"Oh you mean lately," Hunter answered, "yeah I agree with Edge the guy just bugs me,"

"He's been a lot to take recently," Shawn said.

"He hasn't been in my office twice in one day!" Vince replied.

"You guys were here before?" Nitro asked DX.

"Didn't you see the news this morning? We were all over it," Hunter replied boastfully and Shawn cleared his throat to indicate that he shouldn't brag about it in front of the boss.

"Oh the UPS thing, good thing Lita handled all those packages huh?" Nitro said and Shelton made a subtle shushing noise at him while DX made the 'cut it' sign with their hands.

"That's my girl, can't keep her hands to herself," Edge said and Vince gave him a pitiful look.

"Look guys as contrary as it may seem I actually want our public perception to be a good one, at least until I decide otherwise," Vince said to Edge, Shelton and Nitro, "Don't be like these guys," he said pointing to DX who pretended to be hurt by his comments, "don't think that you can do whatever you want whenever you want because that won't do more than piss me off!"

Shelton, Edge and Nitro gulped as Vince's voice raised incredibly high real fast.

"Now I don't know what's going on with Randy Orton but just don't let the entire world know that you hate his guts okay? I mean we're supposed to be a family," Vince said his voice taking on a softer cheerier tone, "so start acting like it!" he said firmly the softer cheerier tone disappearing and Edge, Shelton and Nitro nodded apprehensively, "Okay, dismissed," he said and the three RAW Superstars turned to leave. "As for you two," Vince said turning to DX, "Let this be the last time I see you today,"

Shawn and Hunter nodded," We feel the same way," Hunter said and Vince went scarlet.

"GET OUT!" he yelled and Shawn and Hunter ran out of the office and right into Edge, Shelton and Nitro who were standing outside the door.

"Man that was close," Shawn said.

"Yeah, my Cerebral Cense is telling me that Vince is gonna work out that something's going on with Lita very soon if we keep referring to her 'handling of packages'," Hunter said looking at Nitro who was looking at the ground sheepishly.

"Yeah Nitro," Shelton added hitting the IC Champ around the head, "you nearly blew her cover,"

"I'm sorry I just think what she did was really cool," Nitro said in his own defense, "Edge you're a very lucky man,"

"Yeah but now Vince is gonna think she's really a whore and then he'll start looking down on me!" Edge said and the four men just looked at him blankly and Edge rephrased the comment, "Not that I care about what he thinks about me personally or who I go out with," he said looking at his Italian loafers.

"Oh please your politicking is about as subtle as Nitro's cologne," Hunter said.

"Hey Melina likes it!" Nitro hit back.

"Hey guys can we focus on what we're doing up here in the first place?" Shawn said making the 'time-out' signal with his hands.

"Orton," Nitro said.

"Where do you think they took him?" Hunter asked.

"Somewhere nearby, somewhere where they could pray over him and cast out any demons without any media attention," Shawn answered, "Somewhere where it went downhill for all of us,"

Edge, Shelton and Nitro went pale looking at Shawn's uneasy expression it was clear that they all had the same answer.

"Where?" Hunter asked clueless then his cell-phone rang, "Hello? Oh hey Steph,"

"Tell her we're on our way," Shawn said as he walked reluctantly with Edge, Shelton and Nitro to the elevator.

"But I thought we were gonna find Orton?" Hunter said confused.

"Trust me," Shawn replied nervously, "we're going to the right place,"

Hunter frowned at him confused, "Yeah honey? Okay. Bye," he said to Stephanie and hung up.

"What did she say?" Shawn asked.

"Don't bring Shawn," Hunter answered puzzled then he remembered what happened the last time Shawn was over his place, "Maybe you should go home Shawnie," he said suddenly, "I don't think Steph ready to deal with this stuff with us and Orton again,"

HBK nodded, "You're right, tell Steph I understand, call me later," he said as they exited the building. The other guys watched as Shawn hailed a taxi all by himself and looked as Hunter followed the moving vehicle with HBK alone inside.

"Tell Rebecca I said Happy Birthday!" Hunter said as the taxi turned the corner and drove out of sight.

"Steph still freaked out about the whole possession thing?" Shelton asked as the guys came over to him.

"Stephanie said that Trish got a message from the Holy Spirit that Shawn should go home but not to tell him that because he would worry," Hunter answered and the guys looked at him curiously as his eyes narrowed in concern, "Only problem is, now I'm worried," he said, all things Orton seeming incredibly irrelevant all of a sudden.

Steph and Hunter's place in Connecticut:

Edge, Shelton and Nitro stepped into Hunter and Steph's place apprehensively sticking to each other like ladybirds trying to keep warm in the winter.

"Guys the house is warmer on the inside," Hunter said sarcastically as the three men tentatively approached the doorstep. Once inside Hunter closed the door with a deliberate bang to see if they would jump and they did. He started to laugh only to stop after Stephanie got hold of him and slapped him around the head.

" Aurora's asleep!" she said angrily then she turned to Edge, Shelton and Nitro and turned her sour frown into a sweet smile, "They're in here fellas," she said pointing to the living room. Edge walked in first, looking for traces of broken glass and furniture but there was none only the sight of three women gathered around a sleeping Randy Orton in the middle of the room. Shelton and Nitro spotted Carlito reading by himself in the corner and decided to go join him.

"What's going on?" Shelton asked him.

"Nothing," Carlito replied absently, "just another Orton exorcism,"

Shelton and Nitro looked at each other in shock.

"You serious, again?" Nitro asked amazed.

"It's not an exorcism it's a cleansing to free up any of Orton's spirit that may have been possessed by that demon spirit that possessed Shawn after Lita cast it out," Stephanie said coming over to them, "he was denying anything was wrong right up until he got here right Carlito?"

"Right," Carlito replied back indifferently.

"It wasn't until he started to remember what happened to him here that he began to freak out, the poor kid was terrified. Lita says that the Devil's after his soul," Stephanie explained and Shelton and Nitro's eyes widened in shock, "did you guys know that he was having nightmares about what happened? About his bones breaking and him not being able to breathe?" she asked and Nitro and Shelton shook their heads.

"So that's why he's been acting so weird lately," Shelton said.

"Yeah we thought he was just being his usual jerky self," Nitro explained.

Stephanie folded her arms and shook her head looking over at Orton, "That kid hasn't been himself for a long time," she said concerned for the young Superstar and Carlito turned the page of his magazine apathetically.

"Poor Randy Orton," he said sarcastically and Shelton frowned at the insolent apple-biter while Nitro went over to ATM with Stephanie.

"How is he?" Stephanie asked quietly as Lita, Trish and Melina lifted him onto the couch.

"At peace," Lita replied pulling the Tallit right up to his chin covering his upper body completely, "as long as he stays under there, so no touchie okay Carlito?" she said to the moody Carib in the sofa chair.

"Yeah, yeah," Carlito said annoyed.

"Trish I think your boyfriend needs another kissing session," Lita said playfully but then changed her tone when she saw the serious expression on Trish's face, "What is it?" she asked putting her hand on Trish's shoulder.

"There's a cursed package that wasn't destroyed in the implosion," Trish said.

"Is that what you meant by not getting the job done?" Melina asked.

"Yeah and it's already been delivered," Trish said.

"What's the matter with you?" Shelton said to Carlito who didn't seem to care about what was going on around him.

"Nothing," Carlito replied.

"Yeah you can lie to me but I know there's one person you can't lie to," Shelton said getting up and heading towards Trish.

" Shelton don't bother her," Carlito said reaching out and stopping Shelton.

"You're upset about something and you shouldn't have to sit there in silence when you've got a girlfriend like that," Shelton said adamantly, "someone who can help you on a spiritual level,"

"No Shelton it's because I've got a girlfriend like that that I have to sit here in silence and let her do her job," Carlito responded and looked down sadly for a moment before looking back up, "she can't look after the world and look after me at the same-time, I just have to accept that but it's not easy, I miss her so much,"

Shelton looked at Carlito compassionately understanding what he meant.

"That's why you have to tell her Li, saying the truth out loud is ten times more powerful then keeping it all to yourself," Shelton reasoned. Carlito nodded and put down the magazine.

"Maybe you're right," he said getting up about to approach Trish when the blond suddenly went white and everybody looked at her concerned.

"It's the UPS guy," she said, "He's a murderer,"

Carlito shook his head and looked over at Shelton Benjamin.

"Then again maybe you're not," he said holding his girlfriend's hand disappointed that they couldn't be on a beach in Florida rather than in a haunted house in Connecticut with a murderer.

In the kitchen:

Hunter and Edge came down from checking on Aurora to see the portly delivery guy sitting at the kitchen table eating a huge sandwich. Edge frowned at Hunter pointing towards the strange man.

"Is this the guy?" he asked quietly and Hunter nodded.

"Yep, that's the UPS guy," Hunter replied, "Let's go talk to him," he said bringing Edge over to the table. The UPS guy looked up at them as they came over.

"Hey Triple H, Rated R, how you guys doing?" he asked pleasantly.

"Not as good as you," Hunter replied sitting down next to the man, "look at you you're really enjoying that sandwich aren't you?"

"Sure am, it will hold me down until dinner," he said and Hunter raised his eyebrow in surprise at the man, "you're staying for dinner?" he asked.

"Sure, Miss McMahon said it would be nice to get to know the fans better," he replied.

"UPS delivery guys?" Edge asked cynically.

"We can't all be the product of Vince McMahon's semen Edge," Hunter admonished the Rated R Superstar.

"I bet you get a lot of orders for the WWE Title replica belt," Edge said lightening his tone.

"Yeah for the John Cena spinner belt, not that piece o' crap you came up with last month," the UPS guy replied bluntly and Hunter chuckled.

"I think you're gonna fit right in here," he said patting the UPS guy on the shoulder, "we've got a little business to take care of, enjoy your sandwich we'll be back later," Hunter said getting up and motioning an offended Edge towards the door of the kitchen.

"Okay we got him, he's not suspicious so when the police get here we'll just let them take care of everything," Hunter said to Edge quietly as they moved out the door.

"What are we gonna tell them, that he's possessed? We got no proof that he killed anyone," Edge argued back.

"Got a little demon problem?" the UPS guy asked and Hunter and Edge looked at each other not sure what to say, "It's alright I don't expect you to say anything, I mean I wouldn't want the world to know that I had a demon in my house," he said, "Although I can't imagine what the media would think if they knew the business that was going on in Stephanie McMahon's home, or what Vince would do to you if he knew I was even here,"

"It's your word against ours that you were even here," Hunter replied evenly.

"Oh but I was there when Carlito spat in my face, I was there when you guys and your friends jumped Randy Orton and I was there when a cute little Mexican girl gave me a package to deliver to the wife of The Heartbreak Kid Shawn Michaels," the UPS guy answered and Hunter's throat dried up.

"What did you say?" he said threateningly and Edge held him still thinking the last thing they needed was another murderer in the house.

"Shawn Michaels ordered a special necklace for his wife's birthday from a Mexican jewelers in San Antonio and I delivered it to her yesterday, you know, before you decided to come down and visit us lowly assembly line workers and delivery guys," he said begrudgingly picking a piece of bread out of his tooth.

"What did you do to it?" Hunter asked his rage increasing.

"What do you think I did to it?" the UPS guy answered, "I cursed it. I don't like Mexicans, or their jewelry," he got to his feet and walked over to The Game, "this piece was exceptional even for their standards, a gorgeous Chimallis choker," he peered into Hunter's eyes menacingly, "Now what kind of damage do you think a choker could do to a woman's neck?" he asked malevolently.

"You're not gonna get away with this you bastard!" Hunter said pulling out his cell-phone and dialing Shawn's number then Stephanie flew into the kitchen and grabbed him frantically.

"It's Shawn something's happened to Rebecca!" she yelled and the UPS guy laughed. Hunter punched him in the face knocking him out cold. Stephanie gasped, "Come on Hunter!" she said pulling Hunter away from the man.

"I'm glad Carlito spat in your face!" Edge cried and the three of them ran into the living room where Lita was on the phone with a hysterical HBK.


	7. Jewel Intentions

Title: The Adventures of ATM and the UPS Guy

Author: Kaykyaka

Disclaimer: I do not own any of the characters used within this fictional story. No copyright infringement is intended and no money is being made by this work of fiction.  
Ratings: K+

Characters: Lita, Trish Stratus (not married in this story), Melina, DX, Edge, Nitro, Carlito, Shelton Benjamin, Randy Orton.

Summary: A woman's face is turned permanently red by make-up, an iPod makes a man lose his hearing and ATM is on the case!

Seven – Jewel Intentions

"It can only be removed by someone that loves her," Trish exclaimed holding onto the UPS guy's head prying the truth from his spirit.

"What do you mean?" Shawn cried down the phone tears running down his face as his wife struggled for breath on the floor beside him. Cameron was walking back and forth nervously looking at his mother struggling for air. Her face was turning blue and her fingers were tugging at the necklace squeezing her throat closed.

"Daddy can't you break it?" he asked gently.

"No Cameron I can't it won't break and it won't cut," Shawn replied tearfully as his wife grabbed his hands and together they tried to pull the choker off.

"Trish this doesn't make sense, if the necklace can only be removed by someone who loves her Shawn should be able to break it off," Lita said confused.

"I know it doesn't make sense Amy but that's what I'm getting from this guy," Trish replied.

"Are you sure that's the truth?" Stephanie asked.

"No I know it's the truth honey, Amy try something else," Trish said to Lita who was holding onto the phone as if it was Shawn's hand.

"Shawn put Cameron on the phone," Lita said to HBK.

"What?" Shawn asked confused fighting furiously with the necklace but it wouldn't give.

"Please Shawn trust me put Cameron on," Lita said again and Shawn hesitantly waved Cameron over.

"Take this and listen to what the woman on the other end tells you," he said firmly. Cameron took the phone apprehensively and put the receiver to his ear.

"Hello?" he said.

"Cameron you love your mother very much don't you?" Lita asked.

"Yes," Cameron answered looking at his mother fighting like crazy for breath.

"I know you do Cameron and Jesus knows too. In fact He thinks you love your mother so much you could save her life," Lita said patiently and Edge looked at her curiously, "This is what I want you to do Cameron are you ready?" she said and Cameron nodded nervously.

"Okay, what do you want me to do?" he asked.

"I want you to take your mother's hand and repeat after me," Lita said and Cameron followed her instruction.

"Say 'By the power of Christ I break this device and vanquish the curse therein'" Lita announced.

Cameron took a deep breath and squeezed his mother's hand, "By the power of Christ I break this device and vanquish the curse therein," he said.

"Good Cameron good, now pull the necklace off your mother's neck," Lita said and Cameron gave the necklace a great pull and it came off instantly. Shawn gasped as his wife sucked air into her lungs like it was life itself. He looked over at his son with great joy and grabbed him off his feet.

"You did it Cam you did it!" he said hugging Cameron lovingly, then he picked his wife up from off the floor and made sure she was alright. Cameron picked up the phone hugging his mother at the same time.

"Is this Lita?" he asked.

"Why yes it is," Lita answered giving everyone the thumbs up signaling that everything was alright.

"Phew!" they all said collectively.

"My Dad said you were a nice person and that you weren't anything like they made you look on TV," Cameron said.

"Well tell your Father I appreciate that," she said.

"Here you can tell him yourself," Cameron said passing the phone over to his Father, "Oh and Lita?" he said before handing over the phone, "Thank you for saving my Mother's life, God bless you,"

"You're welcome," Lita said moved by Cameron's words, "Hey Shawn, when Hunter comes over you need to give him that necklace so that we can destroy it okay?"

"Yeah," Shawn said wiping away his tears, "So it was that UPS guy after all, it wasn't Randy?" he asked.

"Yeah, the guy's got something against Hispanics. Trish knew he was lying when he said all was good between him and Melina because he had some cruel intentions in mind for your wife," Lita explained.

"But my wife isn't Hispanic," Shawn said.

"No but the necklace is, you bought it from that Mexican jewelers remember?" Lita replied, " And Ms Perez was Hispanic and Trevor Richards lived in a Hispanic neighborhood. This guy's a monster Shawn, I tried to cast the demon out before but it's still in him. I can't let this man leave this house without casting it out he's dangerous I just hope I do it right,"

"Lita trust me you will do it right, God gave you the Anointing for a reason, don't be afraid be like Joshua and be of good courage you can do it, now bind that demon once and for all!" Shawn said. Lita took a deep breath and hung up the phone deciding it was time to stop talking.

"We better get this guy outside," Lita said.

"Why?" Shelton asked.

"The last time I cast out a demon the roof of the UPS building caved in, I don't wanna have to buy Hunter and Stephanie a new house,"

Lita said and everybody looked at each other in amazement helping Lita take the UPS guy outside.

"Wait a minute," she said all of a sudden and looked over at Trish and Melina, "You two do it, you cast the demon out,"

"What?" Trish and Melina said in shock, "Amy that's what you do," Trish said and Lita shook her head.

"Not in this case, this guy hates Latinos and you're going out with one," she answered, "And Melina you are Latino, you both have personal connections to the Latino culture, if anyone should exorcise this demon it should be you guys not me,"

Nitro and Carlito smiled and began to clap their hands in show of support for their girlfriends.

"You can do it babe!" Nitro called out.

"¡Tengo fe total en usted/I have total faith in you!" Carlito said in Spanish. Melina and Trish looked at each other for a minute then patted each other on the back encouragingly. Trish grabbed the UPS guy by the shoulders and wrapped her hands around his head while Melina took his hands in her own and held them tightly.

"Los filipenses 4:13 dicen que puedo hacer todas las cosas a través de Cristo que me consolide," Melina said with her eyes closed.

"Philippians 4:13 says I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me," Trish repeated.

"Por lo tanto déjelo ser establecido que como niños del dios siempre cariñoso, podemos nos amamos mientras que usted nos ama, que está sin prejudicar o preferencia,"

"Therefore let it be established that as children of the ever loving God, may we love each other as You love us, that is without prejudice or preference".

"¡En el nombre de su hijo Jesús Cristo que nos amó todos lo que ato a este demonio del odio y de la muerte y que lo substituyo por la gloria del amor y de la vida y yo ahora átela en el nombre de Jesús!"

"In the name of Your Son Jesus Christ who loved us all I bind this demon of hatred and death and replace it with the glory of love and life and I bind it now in Jesus' Name!"

The UPS guy fought and struggled but Trish and Melina held on not allowing him to get away from them and then he stopped struggling and relaxed onto the grass. Melina opened her eyes and loosened her grip on his hands. Trish looked over at his face to see his facial expression. He turned to Melina and smiled up at her.

"Mamacita!" he said and everyone looked at Melina and smiled.

"I think he likes you," Lita said proud of her two compatriots.

"What's not to like?" Melina replied and gave the UPS guy a big hug which he appreciated very much.

Back in San Antonio:

Shawn opened the door and saw Hunter standing in front of him. He hugged him relieved and Hunter almost cried on his shoulder.

"I should never have left you," Hunter said.

"You had to otherwise I would have known something was up and freaked out," Shawn replied.

"How is she?" Hunter asked.

"Come in and see for yourself," Shawn said smiling then his eye caught the McMahon helicopter parked in his front lawn and he shook his head laughing.

Hunter walked into the living room and saw Rebecca hugging Cameron on the floor. She looked up and saw him and smiled and Hunter smiled back relieved.

"Cameron saved her life," Shawn said.

"What how?" Hunter asked amazed.

"Lita," Shawn said in awe of the red-head.

"Ah Lita," Hunter echoed in equal admiration.

"Only one thing bothers me," Shawn said walking away from his wife a little bit, "Trish said that the necklace could only be broken by someone who loved her but I couldn't break it,"

Hunter frowned, "That's weird," he said, "Must be a glitch in the spiritual matrix," he said shrugging.

"Yeah but Trish doesn't make mistakes and I do love my wife," Shawn said and Hunter nodded considering the situation rubbing his chin.

"Where's the necklace?" he asked and Shawn picked up the blue box with the white bow tied around it on the side table. Hunter looked inside the box at the necklace all fragmented and broken up in the box.

"How on Earth did this happen?" Hunter asked shaking his head then a card fell out of the box and he knelt down to pick it up. He read over it and looked up at Shawn with a scowl on his face.

"Tell me you didn't write this," he said thrusting the card at Shawn who was looking at him confused.

"I didn't write the card, Maria wrapped it up and put the card in there," he said as surprised as Hunter was even though Hunter looked more angry then surprised, "What?" Shawn said and Hunter showed him the card. It said: "_To Lita_."

"We need to go see Maria," Shawn said angrily and Hunter nodded.

"Where you guys going?" Rebecca said coming over to them with Cameron.

"We're just gonna go into town real quick, we won't be long," Shawn said giving her a kiss. Shawn ruffled his son's hair and told him to take care of his mom while he was gone. "Come on Hunter," he said to Triple H who was staring at Rebecca's hair.

"How long's your hair been red?" he asked and Rebecca looked at her hair and gasped.

"Shawn look, my hair's red! Why's my hair red?" she said and HBK looked at her equally surprised, Hunter on the other hand was starting to piece things together for himself.

At the Rivercenter Mall:

"I think I know what's going on here, but I love you too much to say it," Hunter said angrily to his friend who was just as bewildered as Hunter was angry.

"How did you get Vince's 'copter? He's been keeping that a secret for months," Shawn said as they stepped off of Vince's secret aircraft.

"I jacked it what do you think? I had to come out and make sure you were alright you think I'm gonna let my father-in-law get in the way of me looking out for my best friend and his family?" Hunter replied fiercely and Shawn looked down as they walked through the Rivercenter Mall.

"Why are you mad at me?" Shawn asked innocently and Hunter exhaled slowly trying to calm down.

"I'm not mad at you, I'm mad at me," Hunter replied, "I think I may have inadvertently been responsible for Rebecca nearly choking to death,"

"What do you mean?" Shawn asked confused.

"Come on Shawn, the card, the hair - I don't know how but I think I may have subconsciously got you thinking about Lita in ways that no married man should," Hunter explained.

"But you're married and you think about her like that all the time," Shawn said.

"Yeah but I'm just fooling around, I think you actually like her," Hunter said.

"Sure I do, as a friend," Shawn said.

"Yeah and combined with my dirty mind that adds up to infidelity which is a sin," Hunter said and took a deep melancholic breath, "This wouldn't be the first time the Devil's played tricks on our minds Shawn, it's like Becky almost turned into Lita back there,"

"Oh man do you really think that's what happened?" Shawn asked starting to believe his best friend.

"Hang on let's go in here first," Hunter said as they returned to the Mexican jewelry store, "On second thought," Hunter said stopping Shawn from going in, "Let me go in alone, if Maria sees you she might not be so forthcoming with the information you dig?"

Shawn cocked his eyebrow, "You dig?" he said sarcastically and Hunter ignored him and went inside. Maria was cleaning the jewelry cases when she saw The Game in the mirror's reflection. She gasped and spun around like a spinning top.

"Triple H!" she cried.

"You must be Maria," Hunter said strolling over to the teenage girl, "Shawn told me all about you, told me I had to come in here and check out the best jewelry store in San Antonio,"

"Shawn talked about me?" Maria gasped clutching her heart like it was about to explode, "Whoa man how cool is that? So what do you want a necklace for your wife, a gift for a friend, anything just say the word and it's yours," she said excitedly. Triple H leaned over the counter and casually removed his shades from his eyes to the top of his head.

"How about answering one question for me?" he said and Maria looked at him a little confused but keen to please him anyway.

"Sure," she said.

"When Shawn told you to write the card for his gift to the love of his life, who did you think he was talking about?" Hunter asked and Maria shrugged.

"Well at first I thought he was talking about his wife," she said, "then I saw his face when Lita came into the store,"

"What do you mean?" Hunter asked and Maria pulled her hair behind her ear and leaned on her elbow thoughtfully.

"It was like the first time you see someone really special and everything they do is amazing; the way they move, the way they talk, you're just infatuated with them," she said and Hunter nodded.

"So you think it was just infatuation?" he said.

"No way Jose," Maria replied shaking her head, "that was love," she said coming from behind the counter towards The Game, "the way he floated back into the store to check on his gift, I knew right then and there that she was the love of his life,"

Hunter fretted but remained cool on the outside. He kissed Maria on the head, "Thanks doll," he said and left the store leaving Maria with one awesome story for her friends to hear after work. Shawn's eyes opened wide as Hunter approached him eager to hear Maria's explanation for writing Lita's name on the gift card.

"What did she say?" he asked concerned hoping that Maria didn't give Hunter some revelation about him being madly in love with Lita. Hunter blew it off and shook his head.

"Kids, what do they know?" he said pulling Shawn in for a hug, "I know you'd never cheat on your wife Shawn, let's just put the whole thing down to a racist UPS guy with way too much time on his hands,"

Shawn smiled and patted Hunter's back relieved, "Now I can sleep without having to feel guilty about nearly killing my wife," he said while Hunter reflected on what Maria told him not sure if he'd be able to sleep tonight at all and so he considered the steps that would have to be taken to ensure that Maria's observation about Shawn and Lita did not become a reality.


	8. While You Were Sleeping

Title: The Adventures of ATM and the UPS Guy

Author: Kaykyaka

Disclaimer: I do not own any of the characters used within this fictional story. No copyright infringement is intended and no money is being made by this work of fiction.  
Ratings: K+

Characters: Lita, Trish Stratus (not married in this story), Melina, DX, Edge, Nitro, Carlito, Shelton Benjamin, Randy Orton.

Summary: A woman's face is turned permanently red by make-up, an iPod makes a man lose his hearing and ATM is on the case!

Eight – While You Were Sleeping

St. Louis, Missouri – 12:01am:

_The audience was going wild, Randy had just become the youngest ever World Heavyweight Champion. _

_"Congratulations Randy," said Vince McMahon as Orton got backstage. _

_"Thank you Mr. McMahon," Orton said beaming like a kid in a candy store. _

_"Now I know you wanted to marry Stephanie and become my son-in-law, but since she slept with Triple H she is obviously damaged goods," Vince said and Randy nodded his head. _

_"It's such a shame, she's a lost cause now Sir," Orton said pitifully. _

_"Well you should know that I've FIRED Evolution and hired a new WWE Superstar to take their place," Vince said and he stepped to the side to reveal Melina. _

_"Wow!" Orton said as the WWE Diva sashayed over to him and stroked his belt. _

_"I love your belt Mr. Orton," she gushed totally enamored with the Legend Killer. _

_Randy Orton smiled ravenously, "What else do you like?" _

_Melina bit her bottom lip sensuously and stroked his chest, "I love your chest Mr. Orton," she said seductively. Randy pulled her towards him exposing the curve of her neck to his lips. _

_"I wanna be the only man in your life," he said and Melina grabbed his hair and parted her lips. _

_"You are the only man in my life Mr. Orton," she said breathing heavily. _

_"Let me just make sure," Randy said and RKO'd Nitro who fell to the ground and didn't get up. Melina grabbed Randy Orton's arm and raised it above his head. _

_"You are the Champions of Champions, I love you Randy Orton," she said and Orton smirked and pulled Melina into a long kiss. _

Orton opened his eyes smiling into his pillow as the phone rang.

"Hello?" he said still smiling.

"Hi Randy its Melina,"

Orton cocked an eyebrow, "Melina. I was just thinking about you,"

"Me too," Melina said twirling her finger around a strand of her hair, "I just wanted to make sure you were okay,"

"I'm great thanks to you," Randy said.

"You looked a lot better when you woke up," Melina said.

"That's because the first thing I saw when I woke up was your face, your angelic face," Randy said remembering seeing his reflection in Melina's brown eyes when he awoke at Stephanie's house, "and even though I was looking at myself you were the most beautiful thing I've ever seen,"

"Oh Randy," she said smiling, "I'm glad you're back to your old self, if you start having nightmares again just give me a call okay? We don't want anything bad to happen to you ever again,"

"Nothing ever will as long as I'm with you Melina," Randy said sincerely.

Melina frowned, "Erm, okay. See you at Carlito's tomorrow, God bless you Randy," she said and hung up the phone.

"Goodnight my angel," Randy said to a dial tone and put the phone back on the hook.

"Now to make the transition from dream to reality," he said cunningly and turned to the other side of the bed pulling the covers over himself, "I will have you Melina," he said amorously, "it is your destiny to be with the Legend Killer," A few seconds later he was asleep and dreaming about Melina over and over again.

Carlito's place, Boca Vista, Florida – 1:07am:

Carlito's phone rang and the former IC Champ growled so Trish reached over him and answered the phone before he started cursing in Spanish.

"Hello?"

"Trish?" asked a gravely voice.

Trish cocked her eyebrow, "Who is this?" she asked intrigued.

"It's Shawn, Shawn Michaels," HBK said introducing himself properly, "couldn't you recognize my voice?" he asked surprised.

"No it's so deep and gravely," Trish said flirtatiously.

"It's always deep and gravely," Shawn replied.

"You wanna talk to me about your wife right?" Trish said.

"Yeah how'd you know that?" Shawn asked.

"Because I'm the Truth: Trish Stratus, talk to me baby how can I help you?" she said and Carlito's eyes shot open at the use of the word 'baby'.

"Don't you know what I'm gonna say already?" Shawn asked.

"Sure sure, but I need you to unburden yourself, you are talking to a Heavenly worker you know and we're all about confession, go," Trish replied.

HBK took a deep breath and pulled his loose hair out of his face, "How come I couldn't break the necklace from around my wife's neck?"

"Well let me ask you a question Shawn; are you in love with anyone else?" Trish asked.

"No, but Hunter thinks that I'm in love with Lita," Shawn said crouching over his bedside.

"Why does he think that?" Trish asked.

"Because he thinks it would make a great storyline on RAW, and Maria the store clerk at . . . you know all this Trish," Shawn asked getting flustered.

"Sorry Shawn I just love the sound of your voice," Trish said smiling while Carlito now had both eyes and ears open as they spoke on the phone, "but Hunter's right it would be a good storyline, just not for the right reasons,"

"Did God say that?" Shawn asked.

"Yeah," Trish answered.

"Yes!" Shawn cried quietly glad that he and God were still on the same page, "But I still don't understand why I couldn't break the choker from around my wife's neck,"

"Well let me ask you something Shawn, what was the first thought that went through your head when you saw your wife wearing the choker?" Trish asked him sitting up.

Shawn got up and walked quietly out of his bedroom, "I thought she looked beautiful I chose it especially for her," he said.

"Okay what was the second thought that went through your head?" Trish asked.

Shawn bit his bottom lip guiltily, "That it would look better on Lita," he said and his face collapsed into a portrait of despair, "Oh my God I killed my wife I killed my wife!" he cried.

"Shawn what are you talking about?" Trish said.

"I was thinking about Lita when I should have been thinking about Rebecca this is all my fault, Trips was right I am a murderer!" Shawn wailed hysterically.

"Hunter never said you were a murderer," Trish said.

"No I'm saying I'm a murderer, for murdering the sacred vow between my wife and me with extramarital thoughts," Shawn said disturbed by the whole situation.

"Shawn thinking about Lita doesn't mean you're in love with her, it just means she was on your mind. That coupled with the fact that the choker was cursed gave the Devil enough room to play havoc with your wife," Trish explained.

"But if I wasn't thinking about Lita I would have been able to break the choker from around her neck," Shawn said.

"Woulda, coulda, shoulda Shawn," Trish said shaking her head.

"Yes, I woulda saved my wife's life, I coulda saved my wife's life and I shoulda saved my wife's life, but I didn't my son had to instead because his Father is a no good sonofabitch!" Shawn cried really working himself into a state outside his bedroom door.

"That Catholic guilt is gonna kill you," Trish said trying to lighten the mood.

"I should never have looked at her that time back in June," he said continuing to beat himself up.

"What you gonna do, ignore her?" Trish asked incredulous, "Shawn you can't ignore Lita she's a human being. What you need to do is spend more time with her,"

"No, no, no, this was a warning straight from Heaven, I told her we could be friends and my wife nearly dies, nah-uh no, it's over no more Shawn being friends with Lita, I'm a married man it can't work this is a sign from God that it can't work," Shawn rationalized.

"Shawn, if it was a sign from God don't you think I would know?" Trish said.

Shawn went silent.

"Okay then," Trish said taking his silence as an agreement, "first of all calm down, second of all listen to me. I am telling you that you are not responsible for what happened to your wife today okay?"

Shawn nodded, "Okay," he said.

"Good, now I am also telling you that there is nothing wrong with thinking about Lita, it's no different then thinking about me or Melina – do you think about me by the way?" she asked off subject twirling her hair around her fingers suggestively.

Shawn rolled his eyes, "Trish," he said unimpressed.

"Alright alright it's just your loyalty to your wife is very sexy however misplaced which is why I want you to listen to me very carefully now," Trish said seriously.

"Okay go ahead," Shawn said.

"I want you to spend more time with Lita," Trish said and held the phone away from her ear as Shawn went into one basically reprising his argument from the past five minutes, "Shawn I thought you were going to listen to me?"

"I thought you were gonna tell me to pray or something," Shawn said.

"You already do pray you could stand to read a couple more Scriptures though, like 2 Corinthians 10:4," Trish said.

""For the weapons of our warfare are not carnal but mighty in God for pulling down strongholds, casting down arguments and every high thing that exalts itself against the knowledge of God,"?" Shawn answered.

"Yeah that's what you're doing by separating yourself from Lita, you think you know God better than me and I am speaking on God's behalf. You're a people person Shawn don't make Lita different from anyone else in the locker room, that's why your imagination takes over and you condemn yourself for wanting to get to know a woman other than your wife," Trish said.

"You're right," Shawn said.

"Of course I'm right, I'm-"

"The Truth: Trish Stratus got you," Shawn said with a little smile, "I see things more clearly now I have been condemning myself instead of being myself,"

"That's right, so all you have to do is get to know Lita and your imagination will cease to run wild," Trish said confidently.

Shawn smiled broadly feeling a lot better, "Thank you Trish, El dios le bendice/God bless you," Shawn said.

"Y usted también Shawn/And you too Shawn," Trish answered and hung up the phone.

She turned and looked at Carlito who was looking up at the ceiling with both eyes wide open with his hands clasped behind his head.

"It's a little late at night to be introspective isn't it honey?" Trish asked playfully. Carlito gave her a half smile.

"I've been waiting all night to have you to myself, and even when the moon is up and half the country is asleep you're on the phone trying to help someone," he said, "it's just an observation I mean no disrespect, quite the opposite actually I find myself wondering how awesome you are compared to how you used to be. Then again I guess you always were awesome, God just decided to make you special in a more spiritual way, which means you should have a special boyfriend to go with it,"

Carlito sat up in the bed and looked over at Trish who was completely focused on him and he smiled, her look making him forget what he was gonna say.

"You know that's the first time I've seen you look at me like that all day, with your eyes totally focused on me," he said and shook his head admonishing himself. Trish turned his face towards her own.

"I have not taken my eyes off of you the entire time we've been together," she said sincerely.

Carlito nodded smiling, "And that makes me feel good because I know you cannot tell a lie, but neither can I so here goes," Carlito took Trish's hand in his own and looked deep into her eyes, "No puedo ser su novio más/I can't be your boyfriend anymore,"

Trish took a long look at Carlito before replying, "Mentiroso/Liar," she answered and Carlito shook his head.

"No Trish I'm telling you the truth I need you too much. I can't go a minute if your hands aren't on me, if you don't say my name if you don't put your head on mine. I love you so much it rips my heart out when I think that after tomorrow you'll be back in Toronto and I'll be back on the road. I love my job don't get me wrong but I love you even more, Trish, I can't have you both," Carlito said and looked down at the hand he was holding as it came up to touch his face. He looked into her eyes which were bright with hope and vitality.

"Yes you can," she said and kissed him laying him down onto the bed waiting until their lips had spent enough time together before telling him her solution to his dilemma and she knew he was gonna like it.

Lita's place, Georgia – 5:45am:

Angry neighbors were flocking out of their houses to address the noise that was literally propelling down from the sky over their houses. Edge came out in his pajama bottoms to see if what he had seen from Lita's bedroom window was really what it looked like and it was. Mr. McMahon's private helicopter was hovering in front of Lita's house much to the distress of her neighbors who were shouting furiously at it shaking their fists in the air while trying to keep their robes tied and hair out of their faces. Edge moved closer to the aircraft and saw Hunter looking down at him from inside the helicopter.

"Morning Edge!" Hunter called out merrily.

"Hunter what are you doing it's 5 in the morning!" Edge exclaimed trying to keep his hair out of his face.

"I thought we'd go for a ride whad'ya say?" Hunter asked enthusiastically.

"Have you lost your mind?" Edge asked shouting so Hunter could hear him. Edge looked around at the angry neighbors and figured if he didn't go now Hunter would wait until he did and that might cause the neighbors to take their frustrations out on Lita, "Okay let me get my robe," Edge said.

Hunter pulled out what looked like a robe from inside the 'copter, "That won't be necessary," he said smiling. Edge turned to look at Lita who was looking down at them from her bedroom window. Edge mouthed the words, "I'll see you at Carlito's" and Lita nodded as Edge climbed into the helicopter almost falling out as Hunter took off before he could get in all the way. She wondered if he'd even make it to Carlito's by the time The Game was finished with him, she was sure of one thing though and that was that whatever The Game wanted it had to be very important.


	9. St Michaels

Title: The Adventures of ATM and the UPS Guy

Author: Kaykyaka

Disclaimer: I do not own any of the characters used within this fictional story. No copyright infringement is intended and no money is being made by this work of fiction.  
Ratings: K+

Characters: Lita, Trish Stratus (not married in this story), Melina, DX, Edge, Nitro, Carlito, Shelton Benjamin, Randy Orton.

Summary: A woman's face is turned permanently red by make-up, an iPod makes a man lose his hearing and ATM is on the case!

Nine – St. Michaels

Shawn's house, San Antonio, TX:

"Look Mom its Daddy!" Cameron said pointing to Vince's helicopter as it landed at the front of the house. Rebecca left her roses alone for a second and came over to greet her husband and his guest. Recognizing who his guest was Rebecca broke into a sprint and nearly knocked the troubled red-head over with a hard embrace. Cameron caught Lita from behind so that she didn't fall over and hugged her tight too.

"Lita!" Cameron exclaimed.

"What a treat!" Rebecca said both her and her son's arms locked around Lita's body.

"Okay let's take it inside guys," Shawn said picking up his son as Rebecca ushered Lita into the house.

"It is so nice to finally meet you," Rebecca said to Lita her eyes beaming.

"Woah you're hair, it's red," Lita said looking at Rebecca's hair.

"Yeah," Rebecca said putting her hand over her head, "Never have a water fight with your son in the kitchen with baking colorings and ammonia around," she said pointing at her son who shrugged.

"I think I did a pretty good job," he said.

The four of them sat down in the living room Rebecca and Cameron still all over Lita who smiled half-heartedly at both of them.

"Smile girl you're a hero, look at this!" Rebecca said showing her the front of the San Antonio Express which featured a story about a Mexican jewelers that had experienced a huge boom in business and was going national thanks to word of mouth spread via UPS delivery men. Rebecca pointed at the picture of the UPS guy with his arm around Juarez and Maria excitedly but Lita looked down at her hands not feeling much like a hero at all.

"What's the matter with her Mommy?" Cameron asked his mother trying to figure out why the woman who saved his mother's life looked so sad.

"Lita's had a bad day Cam," Shawn answered and Rebecca smiled compassionately.

"I did too but now that you're here I feel real better!" Cameron said to Lita excitedly.

"What happened to you today?" Lita asked to take the attention off of herself.

"Well my friend didn't believe me when I told her that I saved my Mom's life, so I told my other friend to put his hands around her neck and squeeze really tight and I would pull him off and save her, but when I pulled him off her she slapped me round the face! What did I do to deserve that?" Cameron asked dumbfounded.

"She probably didn't appreciate being strangled Cam," Shawn said.

"Well she shouldn't have called me a liar," Cam responded, "Don't you just hate it when people try to make you look stupid Lita?" Cameron asked the red-head indignantly and Lita lowered her head and thought back over the past hour.

"I sure do," she said glumly.

"Especially when they're supposed to be your friend," Cameron added crossing his arms.

"Totally," Lita said resting on her hand somberly.

"I'm glad we understand each other, could I get you some root beer?" Cameron asked courteously.

"Yes that would be nice thank you," Lita said impressed by Cameron's accommodating attitude.

"Mom, Dad could you bring Lita and I some root beer? It's in the usual place," Cameron requested dismissing his parents who looked at each other wondering what had come over their son.

"Sure thing Cam," Rebecca replied.

"No he knows where the kitchen is!" Shawn said denying his son's request.

"Dad you're cramping my style!" Cameron whispered to his Father pulling him down to his level.

"You don't have a style, you have a curfew and a math test on Monday which you better be ready for," Shawn answered.

"Uh-huh, Mom plus Dad equals two squares, see I'm ready," Cameron replied.

"You're gonna be ready for bed if you don't quit acting up," Shawn replied threateningly.

"Come on Shawn," Rebecca said pulling her husband to his feet, "we've got a special surprise for you Lita!" she said happily bouncing towards the kitchen.

"Now that they're gone we finally have some time to get to know each other better," Cameron said pulling out a sheet of white paper from his back pocket. Lita frowned at the sheet but her ears were wide open as Cameron began to read from it, "Uh-hum," he said clearing his throat, "For saving my Mom's life I would like to give you thanks, for believing that I could save my Mom's life I would like to give you thanks, for making my Mom into the happiest person on the planet I would like to give you thanks . . ." Cameron handed Lita the paper, "For making sure Chey and I didn't have to grow up without a Mom I would like to give you this,"

Lita took the paper and looked at it, looking back at her was a picture of Lita with a halo around her head. Lita was completely taken aback by the picture but Cameron spoke saving her from having to come up with a response.

"You're who God sends to represent Himself," he said and Lita felt her face falling down.

"Oh Cameron!" she cried and hugged the kid right up off his seat.

"Whoa!" he said.

Meanwhile Shawn and Rebecca returned from the kitchen with root beer and something else in hand.

"Things just didn't go the way that they were supposed to," Shawn said finishing off the conversation he was having with his wife in the kitchen about what happened to Lita at Carlito's.

"Well with Hunter involved that's no surprise but I know what can change that!" she said and ran over to Lita who was crying over her son.

"So you saw the picture huh?" Rebecca said.

"Yes it's beautiful!" Lita said crying happily.

"Come here Cameron give Lita some room," Shawn said picking his son out of Lita's arms but the little man wouldn't budge.

"No Dad I got this!" he said defensively hugging Lita then looked at the two glasses on the coffee table, "Dad where's my bendy straw?" he said picking up the glass. Shawn shrugged.

"Well I guess you're going to have to go in the kitchen and get it," he said crossing his arms smugly. Cameron sat back down sulking then Lita pulled him onto her lap.

"I'll live," he replied casually cosing up to Lita and smiling broadly. _Somewhere Hunter's head is exploding_ Shawn thought to himself.

"Okay Lita, I know you're having a real bad day and all but look at his," Rebecca said holding a blue box with a white ribbon around it. Lita recognized it and looked to Shawn questioningly.

"Isn't that the box the cursed necklace came in?" she said.

"It's the same box but not quite the same necklace," Rebecca answered and handed the box to Lita. Lita looked up at Rebecca not sure what to make of the gesture, "Open it," Rebecca said sweetly. Lita removed the ribbon and lifted the top off of the box. Wrapped up in tissue was the most beautiful necklace she had ever seen. Shawn smiled when he saw Lita's reaction at the sight of the Chimallis necklace.

"This is beautiful," she said picking the necklace up.

"We talked about it and decided it would look better on you," Rebecca said squeezing her husband's knee.

"Look at the card," Cameron said and Lita picked up the gift card and read it.

"_To a very special lady – from Shawn, Rebecca, Cameron and Cheyenne_," she read and found it hard to talk, "I don't know what to say," she said, "I don't feel like a very special lady but you guys somehow manage to make me feel like I deserve to wear something so beautiful,"

Now it was Shawn's turn to smile broadly; it really made him feel good inside to see Lita so happy.

"Cameron please do the honors," Rebecca said to her son.

"It would be my pleasure," Cameron said and shuffled behind Lita and clipped the choker around her neck. She got up to give them a good look at her wearing the necklace and the family leaned back and said, "Wow" all at once at the sight of Lita wearing the Chimallis necklace.

"Edge is a very lucky man," Rebecca said and Lita's face melted at the mention of Edge's name, "Did I say something wrong?" Rebecca said to her husband who got up to comfort Lita.

"Shawn why did you bring me here I should just go and leave you guys alone," Lita said turning from Shawn but he pulled her back.

"I brought you here to remind you why you are so special," Shawn said, "Lita you saved my wife's life, because of you I have something special to come home to, because of you Cameron and Cheyenne still have a mother and because of you Juarez and Maria are set for life!"

"You wear that necklace in public and people are gonna wanna know where they can buy one, word of mouth is already spreading like wildfire!" Rebecca added.

"Yeah but they won't look half as pretty," Cameron said and Lita smiled at him gratefully.

"You're sweet Cameron but you can only see the outside of me, you wouldn't say that if you were a little older," she answered and Rebecca took her to one side.

"You're right Lita, people can only see the outside of you but God knows your heart and how beautiful it is, that's why He chose you to do His work. You are a soldier of Christ and your name is written in the Book of Life. You are special inside and out and don't you let any harsh word or dirty look tell you otherwise," Rebecca said and kissed Lita on the lips.

"My turn my turn!" Cameron called out enthusiastically and Shawn covered Cameron's eyes and played down the little charge he got himself from watching his wife kiss Lita. _What Hunter wouldn't give to be me right now he _thought with a smile, _oh well. _

"Wow Rebecca," Lita said amazed by Rebecca's passion, "you're one special woman,"

"It takes one to know one," Rebecca answered straightening Lita's bangs, "that helicopter's not good for a girl's hair," she said and Lita nodded.

"Well you're about to get back in it so don't fix her up too much," Shawn said and kissed his wife taking Lita by the hand and escorting her to the door. Before leaving Lita turned to look back at Cameron and Rebecca trying to see herself and Edge in a similar way but it was very hard from where she was standing after what she'd been through that day and she sighed.

"Shawn's a lucky man Becky," she said sheepishly.

"If he doesn't get back here tonight he's a dead man," Rebecca quipped and Shawn shuddered playfully and closed the door.

As they approached the helicopter Lita lagged behind a little and Shawn turned to her attentively.

"You okay Lita? We don't have to go back if you don't want to, my family would love you to stay the night," Shawn said.

"No I've got to face my accusers," Lita said.

"No you don't," Shawn disagreed, "you don't owe them anything,"

"No I do Shawn. The old Lita would have ignored them but that's not who I am anymore, I am ordained by God to look out for His children and they are no exception. And of course there's Edge,"

"What about Edge?" Shawn said dismissing the Canadian altogether.

"Shawn, how do you know when you wanna spend the rest of your life with someone?" she asked.

Shawn looked at his wife through the kitchen window and grinned, "When you know they're the person you want to wake up to every morning," he answered and looked at her seriously before asking a question of his own, "Who do you want to wake up next to every morning Lita?"

"Hunter during his jean and leather jacket phase," she answered and Shawn laughed.

"He was so mean to you back then," Shawn said thinking back to the days of the Power Trip featuring the dual terrors of Stone Cold Steve Austin and The Game.

"So was Edge," she replied.

"But that's because he was jealous of what you had with Matt Hardy," Shawn answered.

"You know what I felt like back at Carlito's?" Lita asked Shawn who was giving her all his attention, "I felt like the Rated R Superstar's bitch,"

"Lita!" Shawn said hating her using that kind of language to describe herself.

"Come on Shawn that's what I've been on TV for over a year and it all started with Edge, how can this be the man that I'm gonna marry?" Lita reasoned.

"Because it's an act!" Shawn explained, "Lita Edge loves you,"

"How do you know?" she asked him putting her hands on her hips.

"Because of the way he looks at you," Shawn replied but Lita waved it off dismissively.

"Everybody looks at me like that," she said folding her arms.

"Lita you're wrong," Shawn said.

"I know you don't look at me like that – except that one time," she said thinking back to the shooting of the SummerSlam promo.

"I know I'm sorry about that," Shawn said truly embarrassed about that day.

"I should tell you its okay but it's not," Lita said.

"Really Lita I'm sorry," Shawn said again.

"Don't do it again," she said.

"Okay I won't," Shawn said.

"In fact don't think about me at all I might contaminate your brain," she said.

"My brain's already contaminated - wait-a-minute what did you say?" Shawn said his eyes narrowing and he remembered what Trish told him last night; _there is nothing wrong with thinking about Lita_.

"I mean it Shawn don't break your covenant with God because of me, you got a real good thing going here and I don't want you to do anything to ruin it," Lita said and Shawn smiled.

"God bless you Trish," Shawn said to himself.

"Huh?" Lita asked and Shawn took her hands in his own.

"There's nothing wrong with me thinking about you, there's nothing wrong with me wanting to spend time with you. I think God wants me to get a new covenant Lita, despite what Hunter thinks about us, I think we should make a vow to hang out more often," Shawn answered and Lita frowned not believing that this was the same man who didn't want to be seen with her in public a week ago.

"You mean you want to be friends?" she asked hopefully and Shawn was about to answer when his cell-phone rang.

"Hello? Hey we were just talking about you, yeah we're on our way back now," Shawn said, "Hunter wants to know how you are," Shawn said to Lita, the red-head beaming from ear-to-ear.

"How do I look?" Lita asked with a smile posing for HBK.

"Fine – I mean, she looks fine, I mean she is fine – I mean-"

HBK spluttered out fumbling over his words and Lita rescued the phone from him to save the conversation.

"I'm fine I look fine I am fine okay Hunt? Thanks for asking we'll be back soon. What am I wearing? The world's most beautiful necklace and a smile," she said confidently and Shawn smiled giving her the thumbs up, "Yes I'm wearing clothes with it!" Lita said adamantly then she decided to play with him for a minute, "But I need something warm to go with this jean and leather bikini, do you think I could borrow your jean and leather jacket? Hello?" Lita looked at the phone then back at Shawn laughing , "Sounds like he dropped the phone," she said handing Shawn back his cell-phone.

"He probably drowned in his own drool," Shawn said pocketing his phone. When he looked back up Lita was looking at him fondly, "What?" he asked.

"Now that I know you wanna be my friend, what you did today makes sense," she said.

"Oh," Shawn said stroking his chin, the moment Lita meant flashing across his mind, "would you believe me if I told you my finger slipped?" he joked and Lita rolled her eyes.

"Thank you for standing up for me," she said warmly, "and bringing me here and introducing me to your family. I wasn't sure if you'd ever really accept me but you have, you are and you do and for that I am truly grateful. I'm starting to think that God put you in my life for such a time as this and I don't know if I would have gotten through the day without you,"

Shawn felt a lump form in his throat realizing why Trish was so insistent that he talk to Lita, she knew that she'd need him today.

"Anything for a friend," Shawn replied and Lita came over to him and extended her hand. For a minute it looked like he was gonna shake it but he decided otherwise and hugged her instead. He didn't know why but he felt like he really needed her too and he squeezed her tightly and kissed the top of her head and Lita leaned into him grateful that someone like him actually wanted to be friends with her in-spite the humiliation she suffered at the hands of those who were supposed to be her friends.

"Thank you," Lita said savoring the hug before finally breaking it but not quick enough to stop Shawn from defluffing her bangs, "knock it off!" she said covering her hair.

"You're welcome," Shawn replied and he escorted her into the helicopter.

"Hey Lita wait!" Cameron called running towards them with something in his hand. Lita opened the door and took the picture he had drawn for her fondly, "To have something to always remember me by," he said. Lita jumped out of the copter and lifted him up in the air and gave him a big kiss.

"Now you have something to remember me by," she said and waved goodbye to him and Rebecca before getting back into the copter leaving Rebecca and Cameron holding their faces in admiration of the red-head.

"Man she's something eh Cam?" Rebecca said looking up at the helicopter in the distance.

"They don't make them like that anymore," Cameron said as they both stood in awe of the Anointed one.

**To be continued . . .**

_**What happened at Carlito's to make Lita so upset and what's all this talk about marrying Edge? **_

_**Find out next time as we join ATM on another exciting adventure coming very soon!**_


End file.
